


Lovesick

by tarori



Category: Dark Souls (Video Games), Dark Souls III
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Dragon Slayer Ornstein/Dragonslayer Armour (Dark Souls), Dragon Slayer Ornstein/Executioner Smough - Freeform, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:22:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29426649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarori/pseuds/tarori
Summary: During one of the worst nights of his life, Ornstein meets Gwynsen, a kind stranger who will try to cheer him up after discovering an open secret about his boyfriend. With time, they will develop a friendship that will help him to overcome the bitter break-up.
Relationships: The Nameless King/Dragon Slayer Ornstein
Comments: 16
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I've considered to leave some tags out of the Aditonal Tags section because, even if they're things depicted in the story, they're minor/background topics. Anyway, I still want to give you a small heads-up of what you should expect in following chapters:
> 
>   1. Cheating
>   2. Characters getting drunk
>   3. Characters smoking
>   4. Hate sex
>   5. Minor Teacher/Student relationship
> 

> 
> Now, with all that said, I hope you enjoy the story! ^^

"Inside! Do it inside!" 

Ornstein breathed out in a shaky gasp when Smough tightened his grip around his waist and grunted above him, spilling shots of his thick hot cum deep within him. The redhead muffled his next moan in the soft pillow, closing hard his green eyes. Ever so slowly, the other man kept thrusting his cock, feeling the last waves of his orgasm and basking in them with eyes as hard closed as his boyfriend had them under him. Only when it started to feel oversensitive, he stopped.

The lower half of Ornstien’s body was still retained by one of Smough’s hands, keeping a strong hold to have his hips raised and legs open for him to receive his firm thrusts. The other one, on the contrary, was caressing his shoulder, tenderly, as if they hadn’t let themselves get carried away by burning desires.

Just for a brief second, before pulling out, Smough took delight in the sigh of Ornstein’s back, marked by his teeth and nails, by dark bruises signaling that the gorgeous man below him was his, and only his.

“God, your ass is amazing,” Smough sighed, after dropping his back in the messy sheets of his bed.

Breathing erratically, he ran a hand through his short blond locks, damped with sweat. Some of them were stuck to his temples.

At his words, Ornstein giggled and raised his head from the pillow. There were some disheveled locks that felt in front of his eyes. He puffed them, before actually using a hand to return them where they belonged. His eyes quickly gazed at the empty space under Smough’s arm, and Ornstein didn’t think twice to crawl under it and cuddle his boyfriend.

“I love you, too,” he said, snuggling his face in the crook of his neck.

Smough smirked, wrapping his arm around him and putting some red locks behind his equally red ear. “Yes, yes... I love you…”

Ornstein smiled, stretched his legs and let out a sensual purr. His body was still alight by his partner’s previous treatment. Cupping his boyfriend’s face between both his hands, he planted a hungry kiss on his lips and grinded his crotch, hard and in need of Smough’s hands, against his waist.

The taller man broke the kiss. With a furrow and deep voice, he said: “I thought you finished.”

“Not yet…” Ornstein murmured against his lips, eyes lidded with arousal. 

Smough’s hand was grabbed and led to his throbbing boner in an unhurried way, but, right before the fingers barely brushed his skin, Smough janked it back. 

“I’m sorry, kitten. But I’m not in the mood anymore. You’ve left me quite exhausted.” 

Ornstein looked dumbfounded at him, blinking when Smough followed his words with a snicker. “Don’t look at me like that, that’s a good thing! I’ll make sure to make it up to you next time, alright?”

Then, Smough kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly. Ornstein found himself giving a tiny smile, one that he couldn’t control when he was treated with such fondness. He… Well, it seemed that he didn’t have any other choice. Ornstein couldn’t demand something that Smough wasn’t willingly to do.

“Alright, next time,” he answered, earning another kiss, that time on his lips. It was cast and brief. The redhead, then, laid his head on Smough’s soft chest. With his free hand, he caressed his tummy. “Did you like it?”

“It was perfect, as always.” Ornstein smiled proudly. At least, he has made his lover enjoy their intimate encounter to the end.

The room fell in a comfortable silence, but, after filing it with their mixed moans and the vicious cracking of bed, it felt almost unnatural. 

Ornstein closed his eyes and tried to empty his head, to calm down both himself and his hard-on. In the meantime, Smough took a look around at his messy room. Ornstein always asked how, in such a small space which contained a bed, a nightstand, a wardrobe and a desk with a little shelf hanging from the wall, he always managed to create such a chaos: his clothes discarded over the floor, some of them hanging from the back of the chair, his study supplies splattered mindlessly on the desk, the bed always unmade…

It was a mystery for Smough too.

His eyes fell, then, in the mess that was Ornstein: hair let loose over his back, cheeks still red, eyes closed and heavy breathing. Smough could still feel his boner against his leg. He would lie if he said that it wasn’t making him feel uncomfortable. Furthermore, being both of them sticky and sweaty wasn’t doing any favour to him. 

Smough twisted uncomfortably, gaining a inquisitive look from Ornstein.

“I… think I’m going to take a shower,” he announced. “Coming right back.”

Ornstein’s arms were untangled from his boyfriend’s body. 

He followed Smough with his eyes until the tall big man closed the bathroom door, without even casting him a single glare. Then, he sighed, long and deep, before laying his back on the bed.

The sheets were covering up to his waist. Ornstein glared down at his groin, reluctant to calm down, and sighed. It wasn’t hard to think that it was highly probable that the bulge covered by a blue fabric with white lines printed on it had made Smough uncomfortable. He should apologize later, when his boyfriend came out of the shower.

Scratching his abdomen and looking at the ceiling, Ornstein bent a knee. His face turned as red as a traffic light just when he felt Smough’s cum slipping out of his hole, hot and thick. He closed his eyes tight. That wasn’t going to help him calm down at all. Ornstein bit his lower lip, peaking again at his groin with renewed arousal.

With hesitation, he slipped his hand under the sheets and grabbed his dick. For a long second, Ornstein thought whether he shouldn’t or not, but gazing quickly at the bathroom door and catching the sound of water running, the student made up his mind. If done quickly, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. In fact, he wouldn’t bother Smough anymore!

Ornstein started to stroke himself, a soft sigh leaving his lips. It felt good, really good. His body desperately wanted a release and twitched with every descent of his hand. His mind went over the recent events, recalling how Smough had fucked him minutes ago and the touch of his big hands all over his body, gripping and caressing in equal amounts. Ornstein decided to remember the moment when he rode Smough, and, although they didn’t use to share kisses while they were fucking, the redhead pictured themselves clashing their lips in a heated kiss. It was something Ornstein always longed for, but Smough wasn’t one for kisses. He always prefered to bite and lick. At the end of the day, though, as long as Smough was happy, Ornstein was happy with whatever the blond man prefered to do. Ornstein would always have his fantasies.

He bit his redden lip to muffle a moan, feeling close to cum. 

A sudden _ping_ made him open one of his eyes. Ornstein looked at the bedside table, finding the area being illuminated by the screenlight of Smough’s phone. Ornstein decided not to pay attention to it and went back to his business. However, several other _pings_ started to fill the room. It settled an unpleasant feeling in his gut, but, with a deep breath and eyebrows drew together, he decided to ignore them once more. The only problem was that they wouldn’t stop. When, who knew how many more _pings_ were heard again, Ornstein couldn’t tolerate it anymore. He dragged up his body and grabbed the phone to set it in silent mode, not wanting more interruptions. To his misfortune, after he unlocked the screen, another message entered the phone. It was a photo, sended by a person he didn’t know.

“Ledo…” He murmured.

Curiosity started to grow inside him, but that very same curiosity had caused him many problems in the past. It was one of the main reasons for Smough's anger towards him. Some months ago, a little bit before summer, he swore to Smough he wouldn’t check his mobile phone anymore. That act caused a nasty argument between them and Smough stopped talking with him for two whole weeks, even though Ornstein was the one mad for certain messages of dubious intentions he had read. Not to mention their other arguments due to the same reason...

Ornstein bit his lips and looked around. Yes. It was true that it had caused them problems in their relationship before, but… Smough wasn’t in the room. A little peak wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it? He could set the chat as unread and no one would know that he has read those messages… The student made up his mind and tapped on the notification.

His face immediately turned pale when the messages’ content was revealed.

**From: Ledo, sent: 00:07**

ey  
I miss u  
the other night was amazing  
the best I had in so long  
hope you aren’t forgetting me…  
but  
in case you are starting to do it  
have these  
as a treat

That Ledo had sent three nudes: one where his back (and ass) was shown in a provocative manner, another one where he was sat on his bed in a sensual posture, the last one was a plain picture of his dick.

Ornstein wanted to pucked.

Three nudes. The other night was amazing. I miss you. 

The student read the messages over and over again, trying to find something, the slightest hint that it was all a sick joke from his boyfriend. It was hard not to accidentally peak at the photos, and Ornstein found himself grimacing in disgust more than a couple of times. And, even though he wasn’t exempt from doing such things, he thought that unknown guy was utterly vulgar.

In the end, Ornstein exclaimed: “What the fuck?!”

His loud enough words caught Smough’s attention. Ornstein sat on the bed bewildered, at the right time when a confused Smough opened the bathroom door, an inquiring eyebrow arched in his direction and a hand holding a towel wrapped around his waist.

If the redhead student had to look at the bright side of that situation, the only good thing would have been that he was no longer turned on.

“Kitten?”

“You are a fucking liar,” Ornstein spat, letting go of the phone with a harsh movement, not minding if it bounced in the bed and fell to the floor. He got up from the bed and walked towards his clothes splattered over the floor, his face contorted. “I changed, Ornstein. I swear I don’t want to be with anyone else, Ornstein _._ You are the only one for me now, Ornstein!”

Ignoring Ornstein’s bad try to fake his voice, Smough switched his gaze between his boyfriend’s back and rushed movements to his phone on the bed, still unlocked and with Ledo’s chat opened. He walked over it, picked up the phone and read the reason by which Ornstein had gotten mad all of a sudden His expression changed completely, going from confusion, understanding to, finally, anger. All in the split of a second.

“Why did you go through my phone?!”

“Why?!” Ornstein spat, pulling up his underwear and jeans. “Because your little whore wasn’t stopping sending you nudes! That’s why!”

“You swore to me you weren’t going to stick your nose on my private things!”

“How are you expecting me to not do it when you are fucking someone else behind my back?! He was sending you messages like crazy!”

Ornstein walked past Smough to grab his shirt but he was stopped when his arm was grabbed with a rough hand. The redhead looked at him with a deep scowl.

“There was no need for you to unlock my phone, no matter how many messages I get. Why do you have to be such a control freak?”

“A control freak?!” Ornstein snatched back his arm, voice coming out in disbelief. “After catching you, is that your only defense? Really? For god’s sake, Smough, it’s the fourth time!”

A shaky gasp left Ornstein’s lips. He finally could walk to where his shirt had been thrown half an hour before, pick it up and put it back on. All done with harsh movement, without taking his eyes out of Smough. 

“How dare you say that when I’ve seen those nasty nudes he had sent you, the fucking message saying that that other night had been amazing?! You have no right!”

Ornstein was starting to feel agitated, the reality finally hitting in. The nauseas grew bigger and the palm of his hands were sweaty. All that while Smough looked fine, confided even though he was still without dressing. It wasn’t fair.

“You are mistaking a few things here,” Smough said, “First, you shouldn’t read my private conversation. Second, you broke our promise and should feel ashamed of it. And, third, you can’t accuse me of anything just because a stupid message, and without letting me explain!”

Ornstein arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh, well. Explain yourself then, I cannot wait to know what happened.”

“I haven’t cheated on you. Probably he sent those nudes to the wrong person, who just happened to be me...”

It gave the impression that Smough wasn’t even buying his own words. The hitched breath, his white knuckles grabbing the towel’s knot, the brief second he averted his eyes… Ornstein felt enraged.

“How can you look at me and lie on my face? When did that happen, huh?”

“It’d never happened!” Smough raised his voice and took a step closer to his boyfriend. “Why don’t you never believe me?”

“Because you’ve never given me a reason!” With a lump in his throat, Ornstein couldn’t stop the next words from coming out of his mouth, “Tell me, did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy fucking that slut? Were you thinking about him while fucking me, weren’t you?!”

“For fuck’s sake, Ornstein! It was just some pictures that weren’t mean to me! You are making up the rest!”

“Grow some balls and admit the truth!”

“Do you want the truth?” Smough asked, voice deep and threatening. “Alright, you’ll have it. The trust is that I’m fucking tired of this bullshit, do you hear me? I’m tired dealing with your fucking insecurities just because you can’t be a grown ass man and deal with them. Instead you have to blame everything on me!”

Smough took a deep breath, waiting for Ornstein’s reaction.

The room felt oppressive and Ornstein found it hard to breath. His face was hot and his eyes itched. He observed Smough’s face for a long moment, his blue eyes looking down at him, his round nose wrinkled and his thick eyebrows drew together to form a scowl. Smough was angry at him, as angry as he was at Smough. But, on his face, there was no trace of the shame and pain Ornstein felt from his last words.

“I’ll deal with my insecurities,” he began in a choked voice, “when you stop being unfaithful. This is all your fault.”

“Don’t be confused. If you didn’t control every aspect of my life: who I spend time with, who I talk with, where I am, what I eat, even when I breath, none of this would have happened!”

Smough let out the air through his nose, clenched his jaw and walked to his wardrobe, with the thought to get dressed in mind. He let the towel fall to the floor, but Ornstein kept his eyes up, on his wide shoulders.

“What are you talking about?”

His shoes were right in front of his feet, but his mind wasn’t even considering putting them on. 

“I thought you were going to change, but you are once again suffocating me with the same-”

“Why are you trying to blame me so bad?” Ornstein interrupted him, hands shaking. “Damn, Smough, maybe… I don’t know. Have you considered that I would trust you if you were honest? If you had just a little bit of commitment with our relationship?”

“That’s what I’m trying to say.” Smough pulled up a pair of pants. “Why don’t you listen to me? It’s always the same, you just want to have the reason no matter what.”

“No! It’s not that!” Ornstein groaned. “I’m only-”

“It’s always the same bullship,” Smough interrupted him. There was a big frown on his face when his head popped out of his shirt. “You won’t listen to me, no matter what I say. What’s the point in explaining? You won’t believe me. You don’t care if those nudes were sent to the wrong person. You say you’ve forgiven me but the truth is that you only try to find reasons to blame and accuse me.”

“Smough, it wasn’t just because of some random pictures! There are the messages, and the fact that I know when you are lying. We’ve been together for five years not to know the face you have when you are telling lies.”

“You are blinded. That’s what is happening here. Or maybe you just want an excuse to break up with me. Is that, right? You want to break up with me and run with all your fuckboys.”

“The hell are you talking about?!” Ornstein exclaimed, face blushing.

“Oh, come on. Now I see it clear. Maybe this is a set-up.”

“Have a little decency! You know how much I fought for us, all the things I have had to forgive, how much I’ve cried for your stupid crap. Don’t you dare throw at my face the things I’ve done when we weren't together. And less saying this is a set-up when-”

Ornstein’s voice broke down, his eyes itched as if pepper had been poured into them. He wanted to cry. It was so hard to breath… The redhead wrinkled his nose, annoyed, and put his shoes on, though after failing several times because of the anger implicit in every one of his movements.

“You are the one putting your dick inside other guys at the slightest chance while I’m always here thinking that you’ve changed, that you love me!”

“And I love you!”

His words finally managed to set the tears building in Ornstein’s eyes free. The shorter student wiped his nose, the corners of his mouth turned downwards.

“You are fucking liar. All you do is shit on our relationship. You don’t love me at all.”

“Ornstein, listen to me for fuck’s sake!” Smough exclaimed, getting closer to Ornstein.

But Ornstein didn’t want his boyfriend to be near him. Clenching his jaw, he walked to the messy desk where his backpack was laying on the floor and his jacket resting on the chair, and picked the backpack up to settle it on his left shoulder.

Smough let out a long sigh and ran his finger through the locks at the back of his head. “Can you… stop crying? Let’s talk about this. You are putting on a show for-”

“I am not putting on a show!” Ornstein turned around, meeting Smough’s eyes with an angered expression and his index finger raised. “The only thing I asked you in this fucking relationship was loyalty, but you wipped your ass with it. I’m done with this, and I’m done with you.”

“Now, come on, you need a deep breath. You aren’t thinking this right.”

“Don’t tell me what I need! And listen to me: we are over, Smough.”

Even though his words came out harsh, Ornstein was still crying, ashamed to show his vulnerability during a moment he was supposed to show himself strong. He hated crying in front of the asshole that had been his boyfriend.

“Ornstein, you are only mad. Calm down! Like that, we aren’t going to solve anything.”

“Shut up! I’d say we are over, don’t try to play it down! You cheated on me!”

Smough let out a long groan, considering to sit down on the bed, but Ornstein walked towards the door and opened it. The action caused a loud sound that travelled through the residence’s hallway.

“I haven’t cheated on you! Could you stop repeating it like a cockatoo?”

“I’ll say it as many times as I want,” Ornstein spat. Then, after giving Smough a long glance and understanding that he wasn’t even going to walk to where he was standing, not even try to stop him from leaving, the student couldn’t hold back the next words. “Have fun jacking off to his nudes!”

“That’s what you think I’m going to do, right?”

“Yes!”

“You are so wrong. I bet you already have some dude waiting to fuck you. You love to screw around, don’t you?”

“You are such an asshole, Smough. Have I ever told you that?”

“I don’t care, slut.”

“Son of a bitch! I fucking hate you.”

With that said, the argument was over. Ornstein slammed the door behind him and, for a second, its sound was the only thing that could be heard in the hallway. His heart was pounding fast, and Ornstein felt the sudden need to scream. Instead, he grunted loud, and threw his hands to the back of his hair. The tears didn’t seem to stop anytime soon. He turned to face the door with the little stupid number carved on bronze hanging on it. Smough wasn’t going to go after him, and somehow, that enraged him even more.

Ornstein noticed that, despite the late hours, he wasn’t alone in that corridor. There was a tiny girl clenching some sort box against her chest, looking with wide eyes at Ornstein, probably not daring to move a single muscle because she was afraid of the angered man.

“What are you looking at?” He spat, his voice full of hatred that wasn’t aimed at her.

The tiny girl flinched and pressed her back against the wall when he walked past her, using a hand to wipe his nose.

Ornstein crossed the hallway in a time record, his pace fast and head down, in a vain attempt to hide his infinite tears from the rest of the world. It was a mystery how the student dodged all the stranglers in his way when he avoided looking at anything that wasn't his feet, and his eyes were barely dry. With all, he reached the stairs and, a couple of minutes later, the entry.

The cold air, characteristic of October nights, sneaked under the thin layer of his clothes in the instant he pushed the front door open. Stopping in his tracks, Ornstein noticed that he wasn’t wearing his jacket. The piece of cloth has been left inside Smough’s room. How stupid! First, he believed Smough’s blatant lies, then he found out his boyfri- ex-boyfriend had been unfaithful, and finally he forgot his things in the last place he wished to return back. Definitely, it was the last thing the student needed to break down in a fit of sobs. The tears started to flood his eyes with renewed intensity. Ornstein covered them with his palm and let out a strangled grunt, not even bothering to wipe them. He was mentaly exhausted to do so.

“You son of a bitch! Fucking asshole!” Ornstein screamed enraged. Without thinking, he kicked the closest wall, the sole of his foot collided with it. “Why the fuck did I have to believe you?!”

More grunts, more tears, more sobs. Ornstein was cold and a shiver travelled through his body. He wanted to return to his room and leave all that shit behind, but, to get to his residence, he needed to walk down a long road and outrun several other buildings. Normally, it would have taken him fifteen minutes, but, with his knees shaking, a head pounding and a need to throw up, he doubted his capacity to take more than five steps without falling to the ground.

All of a sudden, a voice came behind him: “Wow, dude, rough night?”

It made Ornstein flinch, turn around and squeak a curse. All in the blink of an eye. Bringing a hand to his chest, over his fast pounding heart, he looked at the person leaning on the landing’s wall, his elbows on top of it. 

How the hell didn’t Ornstein see him before?

With the fright, at least, his pathetic sobbing had stopped at once. The shame to be seen crying was bigger than the need to relieve the pain for his crushed feelings. That was why a sense of self-consciousness started to overwhelm him, leading Smough to take a backseat for a couple of minutes. 

The person in front of him was a man, apparently around his age. He was clothed in black sweatpants and a dark red sweater with white stripes at the end of it and around his wrists, and a small emblem of their university over his left chest. His silver hair, though short, was thick and a bit bushy, seemingly to never be combed. From such a distance, Ornstein couldn’t make out any more details, apart from a face with a strong jawline and a long nose. The stranger was looking at him from head to toe, his expression inquisitive until the corners of his lips turned upwards. After letting out a chuckle, he brought a cigarette to his lips.

“Damn, and here I thought I was good-looking. What a comedown. Am I that ugly?”

Quickly, Ornstein wiped the remaining tears out of his eyes, but he couldn’t find anything proper to say. He was out of words and his mind was still trying to process everything. After a long awkward pause, the guy let out another chuckle. 

“Alright, I got the message, no need to answer.”

Following the list of sudden events that were going to happen that night, a voice came from above them. This one, though, was easily recognized by Ornstein. 

“Ey, whore! You left this behind!”

Smough was leaning out of his window on the third floor. Just when Ornstein looked up, he dropped his forgotten jacket. It came down too fast for a normal piece of cloth. The jacket hit the ground with a wet sound. A puddle of water started to form under it. At first, Ornstein observed his jacket in shock with an open mouth, but even before getting the chance to start cursing his ex-boyfriend, Smough closed his window with a loud thump.

Ornstein grunted to the air before picking up his damped jacked from the floor, once again feeling the need to kick something, ideally Smough’s balls.

Only when the unknown guy let out a whistle, the shame took hold of him. Ornstein looked at him with a blush, even redder than his hair, and a downcast grimace.

“No judge,” the silver haired man started, letting the cigarette’s ashes fall to the ground with a tiny move of his finger, “but, what did you do…” Ornstein wrinkled his nose, the gesture interrupted him. “No. Of course. He did something to you, right?” Ornstein nodded. “What was it?”

Even if it was to no avail, his jacket was wrung out. A jet of water came from the damped cloth. For a mere centimeters, his shoes didn’t get wet. Ornstein walked to the wall. With a sigh, he let the cloth on top of it, before leaning his arms next to his jacket. Right there, he noticed that the other man was one head taller than him. 

The stranger turned around, imitating his same exhausted posture but with eyes that observed him with great interest. Somehow, Ornstein took comfort in knowing that someone wanted to hear about his tragedy.

“He…” Ornstein swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes wandering over the scratches and tiny draws, with names of people that probably stayed no longer in the residence and dates that felt an eternity away, that were on the cobblestone. “He cheated on me. Again.”

His hands were firmly intertwined, nevertheless they clung to each other once the crime was spoken aloud.

“Oh, man, I’m sorry to hear that,” the taller man wrinkled his face in some sort of sign of sympathy. “How long have you two been together, if I may ask?”

Ornstein snorted, because he couldn’t believe that after so much time and everything they’ve been through together, it was over. In the most nasty way.

“Since high school. Five fucking years. But I guess it doesn’t matter now...”

“Shit, what a bummer!”

The stranger only got a sound of acknowledgment from Ornstein, who was trying to keep a solemn expression even though his lower lip was starting to tremble. Too focused on keeping it together, Ornstein didn’t notice the concerned look the other man casted at him when a renewed wave of sadness was floating above him.

The sight setled a sour feeling in the pit of the stranger’s stomach, who probably had expected the redhead to have a dumb fight or a tasteless prank from a friend. Normal things that usually happened at the residence. A broken heart was the last thing he expected to deal that night, least a broken heart from someone he didn’t know. That was why the only thing he could come up with was to retrieve his pack of cigarettes from his sweatpants’ pocket.

“Do you smoke? Maybe it can help you to calm down and think better… At least for a little while.”

Ornstein casted a glare to the little pack from a well-known brand through teary eyes, and after a long second considering it, he ended up accepting one.

As a general rule, Ornstein didn’t smoke, but he wasn’t unfamiliar with it. From childhood, his family taught him that vice, such as smoking, drinking or drugs, destroyed people at an alarming rate, and that he should stay away from them. He did it during his teenage years as the perfect son he was. But then, he got to university. He met new people and new experiences. He tried everything he had said no back in his hometown. His choice of preference became alcohol, and he only smoked when offered in parties where the mood was good, or he felt overwhelmed. Regarding his family, he would never admit any of the things he had done since he was invited to his first party. He prefered to keep the only good reputation he still had.

Ornstein placed the cigarette between his lips and waited for the stranger to make a lighter appear from the same pocket he kept his pack. It was one of those zippo lighters. When he handed it, Ornstein caught a glimpse of a dragon draw carved on it.

After lighting his cigarette, Ornstein took a long drag, letting the smoke fill his lungs and cloud his thoughts while he observed the guy putting everything back inside his pocket. When the stranger returned his gaze to him, the redhead let out the smoke through a small open of his lips. He was given a kind smile. After another drag, Ornstein started to feel he could control the dangerous tears threatening to wet his checks.

“I’m Gwynsen.”

“Excuse me?” Ornstein, not having heard him clearly, blinked and took some locks out of his face. 

All of a sudden, it occurred to Ornstein that he might have a disheveled look. Trying not to look so obvious, he started to comb the back of his hair with his fingers.

“My name,” the taller man clarified, having the same kind smile on his lips as before, even when he took a drag from his own cigarette. “My name is Gwynsen.”

“Oh…” He raised his eyebrows in understanding. “I’m… I’m Ornstein.”

A weird silence appeared between them and lasted for a solid second. The two of them observed each other, waiting for some sign of recognition without knowing anything about the man in front. When none showed up in any of their faces, Gwynsen decided to speak.

“Nice to meet you, Ornstein.” There was a hint of surprise in his tone of voice, but Ornstein barely noticed it.

“Nice to meet you too.” He murmured, bringing the cigarette to his lips and hid himself between his shoulders.

Ornstein was well aware of the type of reputation he had at the residence. Although he wasn’t famous at all, he had had a long list of unpleasant encounters with people he didn’t know anything about but, apparently, knew him well. At least from the things they’d heard, or seen. Having a weird name didn’t make things easier, and, with his bad luck, it was as if he was always surrounded by people who loved to talk behind his back.

It was safe to say that Ornstein always expected some kind of recognition, a mocking look casted at him or a whispered word calling him out from his own mistakes. That was in the best case scenarios. In the worst, he was slut-shaming right at his face.

It was all thanks to some pieces of shit who thought it was a good idea to share certain videos of him one day, a friend that apparently hated him and spilled all his intimate confessions, and a friend with benefits who got scared of his own feelings and, due to his emotional immaturity, decided that instead of talking with Ornstein, it was better to ghost him and say to his friends it was because Ornstein loved to hook-up with every guy in sight, and how could he be with someone like that!

Therefore, meeting someone who didn’t know anything about him was unexpected, but pleasant. It relieved some of the unconscious tension he was carrying.

Still, Gwynsen’s expression got him thinking. Had he seen the taller man in another place? Ornstein tried to recall whether he was an old classmate, a friend of an old friend, or someone he had met at a party, but… No. Gwynsen’s face didn’t evoke not even a single memory.

“You look better, now,” Gwynsen commented, suddenly.

Snapping his eyes towards him, Ornstein forced a smile, “Yeah... Thank you for this.”

Ornstein showed the almost consumed cigarette, before crushing it on the wall, and Gwynsen gave him a smile. Then, the two of them looked at each other in silence until Gwynsen trailed his eyes down on his body. Ornstein noticed it, of course, but he didn’t have a clue about how to react. If that guy started to flirt with him at that moment, it would be the final touch to one of the best nights of his life.

“You are shaking,” his voice came low.

After blinking, Ornstein asked. “What?”

“You are cold, right?”

In a swift movement, Gwynsen took off his sweater and handed it to Ornstein. It took the redhead aback.

“Here, take it. You need it more than me.”

“But…” Ornstein switched his confused gaze between the piece of clothing, warm to the touch, and the man in front of him.

“It’s no problem. I’m going to my room now.” Gwynsen crushed the end of his cigarette on top of the wall, as Ornstein did before. “Is your building near?”

“It’s at the end of the road… But I don’t need this! I mean, I appreciate the gesture but...”

Ornstein tried to give the sweater back, but Gwynsen just pressed it harder into Ornstein’s hand with his own.

“Man, you’ve had a rough night. Just take it. Don’t worry about it. Give it back to me next time.”

Blinking away his surprise, Ornstein rushed to ask, “Next time? Like… Wait, a date?”

That last thing he was expecting was Gwynsen bursting into laughter. Even though he didn’t sound as he was making fun of Ornstein for what he said, the redhead felt his face blushing with embarrassment.

“No, dude,” Gwynsen took a breath of air. “I’m not asking you for a date. You know, I already have a girlfriend! This is just… I don’t know. Call it an act of goodwill.”

Once again, Ornstein switched his gaze between the object and the man, who was already walking towards the front door. Then, he took a step forward.

“It’s just a fifteen minutes walk. There is no need for-”

“Then, it would be fifteen minutes where you aren’t freezing your ass out.” Gwynsen interrupted him, pulling open the door. There was a smile on his lips. “Ornstein, you’ve just ended your relationship, I’m sure that catching a cold isn’t in your top ten things to happen right now.”

That time, Ornstein simply took a deep breath. Before he got the chance to speak, Gwynsen continued:

“Just give it to me back another day.”

“Alright… If that’s fine with you…”

“More than fine! At least, now I can go to bed knowing that you aren’t going to get sick by wearing that wet jacket,” Gwynsen winked an eye in a friendly manner.

A stranger couldn’t be that concerned about his well-being, Ornstein knew that by heart. However, it was possible that the way in which Gwynsen pronounced that exaggerated statement was the reason why the ghost of a smile could be seen in his lips. 

The taller man noticed it, and his grin widened with a chuckle.

“Good night, Ornstein.”

Ornstein took a deep breath. 

“Good night, Gwynsen.”

The door was closed behind his back with a soft thump. Ornstein took a long deep breath before dropping his cigarette inside the trashcan at the end of the stairs.

Wondering why he barely noticed the cold night air after starting talking with the kind stranger, he threw on the sweater. It was slightly oversized. The end of it reached under his groin and the sleeves covered up to his knuckles. Ornstein didn’t mind it, he was used to wearing Smough’s clothes. His stomach complained at getting reminded of his ex-boyfriend. But then, the sweater worked his magic. Ornstein stopped feeling cold. Instead, it was as if he was wrapped by a nice warm blanket in front of a fireplace. It felt nice, and he decided to start his walk back to room after readjusting his backpack on his shoulder.

The road was empty of life and badly illuminated. The only thing interrupting the silence was the wind and the occasional murmur of music whenever he walked in front of another residence. There were six in total. Three were located on the road he was taking. The other three were at the other end of the campus.

When Ornstein reached the last of the buildings, he opened the front door and greeted the sleepy janitor who gave him a kind nod in return. Then, he took the stairs up. The residences, even if they were five floors, didn’t have an elevator. Thankfully, his room was on the third floor, so he didn’t have to force his lungs that much. 

The corridor was empty of students, who were already sleeping or too tired to party that night. Therefore, seeing the door in front of his room opened, felt like a surprise. He walked towards it and leaned his body on the door frame.

“Ey, Ciaran.”

There was a girl sitting on the floor, back against the bed base and a thick book in hand. Her body was tiny and thin, but Ornstein knew that, under the layers of clothes and pale skin, she hid muscles with great strength. Her long blond hair was pulled back in a braid that rested on her shoulder. Her face, although with sharp features, had a peaceful and welcome expresion.

Ciaran has been his best friend since his first year at university. They met at a party that Ornstein decided to go with that one old friend that secretly hated him. After a long party, getting wasted and having an argument with that friend (which ended with them taking different ways that night), Ornstein decided it was time to go back to the residence. He remembered walking down the main stairs of the house and stopping on his tracks when an ugly cry reached his ears. At some point, Ornstein had adopted the rule to never comfort the first person crying in front of him, so he tended to ignore it. However, his numbed brain thought that it could be his friend crying, after considering the mean things said to Ornstien and feeling bad for not having the chance to apologize that night. His feet lead him to the house corner and behind it, there wasn’t his friend but Ciaran. At the sight, his heart softened without him being able to stop it. Then, Ornstein took a seat beside her and she cried her story to him. After a few clumsy pats, hugs and reassuring words, they got up from the grass. By that time, it was already dawn and both were hungry, so Ornstein offered to go get some breakfast. Ciaran agreed with puffy eyes, and wiped the remaining tears with her hand, a hand that got red after punching a guy who got really touchy. The rest, as some say, was history.

It wasn’t until their third year at university that they got to spend most of the time at residence together. As a miracle, they happened to have their rooms right in front of the other.

When Ciaran heard his voice, she raised her light blue eyes from the book she was reading.

“I didn’t expect you to return tonight,” she said, the corners of her mouth slightly pulled up into a smile. However, when she noticed Ornstien’s puffy eyes and red nose, her smile was replaced by concern. “Oh, dear. Come in. What happened?”

Ciaran quickly set the book aside. Her eyes followed her friend’s body, dragging his feet towards her bed. 

After placing his backpack on the floor, and on top of it his half damped jacket, Ornstein let his body hit the sheets. With a long groan, he turned to face the ceiling. Ciaran crawled up, and took a seat besides his head. Then, with a loving hand, she brushed his bangs out of his face. A faint smell of tobacco reached her nose, but Ciaran decided it wasn’t the moment to question it. For a while, silence ruled over the room. Ornstein needed a moment, to compose himself and blink away the annoyed tears from his eyes, before telling Ciaran the story. 

When he finished it, Ciaran's face was torn apart between showing sympathy or anger.

“Oh, Ornstein, I’m so sorry… I can’t believe he had done it again!” In the end, anger won over sympathy. “How could he? I don’t understand it!”

Letting out a groan, Ornstein continued.

“You know, the whole break up was a mess. We were just bringing up the past, telling each other off and… insulting each other.” The student closed his eyes, sighed and rubbed his face. “I let my jacket behind and Smough thought it was a great idea to drench it. It’s over there.”

“What an asshole!”

At the same time, the piece of clothing was pointed with a tired finger and Ciaran noticed the object for the first time that night. In return, inquiring eyes were fixed in the oversized sweater Ornstein was wearing. However, when Ciaran was about to question her friend about it, she closed her mouth. Ornstein’s lower lip was starting to tremble.

“Orn… You know if you want to cry, there is no problem in doing so.”

“I know…” The redhead took a deep breath, and bit his lips to hide the involuntary movement. His green eyes were glassy and fixed in the girl above him. “I think I’m going to my room. It has been a long night.”

Pressing her lips together, Ciaran looked at him with concern.

“Are you sure?” She got a nod as an answer. “Alright... In any case, if you need anything just come here, no matter the time.”

Ornstein forced a smile and opened his arms. In the blink of an eye, Ciaran had thrown herself on top of his friend to give him a much needed hug. His arms clenched around her with a bit too much force, but despite the sudden lack of air, Ciaran didn’t complain and waited for the hug to loosen up. Then, Ornstein’s voice came in a choked whisper.

“I’ll keep it in mind... Thank you, Ciaran.”

“Anytime.” She pushed her body up and looked down at him with fondness. “If you need to talk, or just some company, I’m your girl.”

Ornstein nodded in a sign of appreciation, and they hugged one more time.

When Ciaran was free of his arms, then, she seemed to remember something and a smile appeared on her lips.

“By the way, there is something that might cheer you up… I was going to tell you this tomorrow, so if you prefer it that way…”

“No, tell me. What is it?” Curiosity was palpable in his voice.

“There is going to be a party this Friday. Maybe it can help you forget about Smough for a while...”

“How do you know about the party?” Ornstein asked, arching an eyebrow and sitting down.

“Oh...” Ciaran grinned, choking down a chuckle. “A friend of a friend of a friend of the person throwing the party told me about it.”

It was clear she was lying. Both of them knew that Ciaran barely had friends, less friends that liked to party (besides Ornstein, of course). Anyway, Ornstein couldn’t help a brief chuckle leaving his lips. The way she always found out about everything going on in the campus, and even outside of it, had always been hilarious to him.

“Sure... But, you know what? You are right. Forgetting about this shit will do me good.”

“Great!” Ciaran exclaimed. “I knew you’d say yes.”

Ornstein snorted and got up from the bed. 

“Well, now, if you excuse me, I’m going to sleep. Enough reality for today.”

“Yeah, you need to…” 

In that moment, Ciaran’s eyes fell upon Ornstein’s back, and whatever she was going to say was dumped to the back of her head. To make sure what was in front of her eyes was real, she blinked once, twice, and read over and over the white letters printed on the back of Ornstein’s sweater.

“Holy. Shit.” Ciaran mouthed for herself. Then, louder, she asked, “Ey, Orn… Where did you get that sweater?”

“Hm?” Ornstein picked up his belongings, and hung his backpack in one of his shoulders. Then, turning around to face Ciaran, he casted a glance down to the piece of clothing. “It was given to me by someone I met tonight. He was… at the stairs of Smough’s building. Well, his room’s in the same building. So, I guess… Why?”

“So-Someone? Just _someone_? Are you sure?”

Ornstein arched an eyebrow, his eyes looked at her with confusion. “Yes. Why?”

“You have… At the back…” Ciaran pointed to a full-body mirror besides her wardrobe. “That sweater belongs to Gwynsen.”

That was weird. But it wasn’t hard to figure out what was happening. Ornstein quickly walked towards the mirror and looked at his back to find big white letters that read Gwynsen’s name. Ornstein wrinkled his nose and sighed. A football player. Great. When would he stop getting involved with them?

“Really, are you telling me you didn’t recognize him?” Ciaran snorted. “Everyone knows him! Like, come on, he is the quarterback of our football team! I thought you liked them.”

Ornstein decided to ignore the joke.

“You know I don’t like sports. How was I supposed to recognize him?”

In that moment, Ornstein finally understood why Gwynsen was looking at him with such a strange expression. Of course! Someone apparently so popular would have expected some form of acknowledgment.

Again, Ciaran snorted. It was clear she was trying to hold back his laugh. “I need to know what happened.”

“I’m leaving!”

“Tomorrow, then!”

“Fine! You gossip.” Ornstein grunted, and walked towards the door. “Do you want me to close it?”

“Mmh… Nah. I think I’ll be up reading a bit more.”

Ornstein rolled his eyes, waved his hand and took out his key, without understanding (like he could!) his weird friend. 

Ciaran rarely closed her door. It was a habit she kept until that day, but never gave an explanation of why. Instead, each time, Ciaran gave a different answer: room too hot, room too cold, she was waiting for someone, someone left and didn’t close the door, the latch was broken, she was afraid of never opening the door again… The list of bad excuses could go on and on. Over time, Ornstein stopped asking. As he had done with every other weird thing Ciaran did.

“Remember,” she called from her bed. “If you can’t sleep knock on my door!”

“Yes! Good night, Ciaran.”

“Good night, Orn!”

After closing the door, leaving his backpack beside his nightstand and sitting down on his bed, Ornstein took off Gwynsen's sweater. His thumbs caressed the dark red fabric and his eyes read again the footballer’s name. His mouth let out a sigh while his words and kind acts came to his mind. Then, something clicked. His eyebrows were lifted after realizing that Gwynsen hadn’t told him his room’s number. With a sigh, he got up and placed the piece of clothing on his desk. He would need to decide what to do with it. But tomorrow.

After doing so, he felt his throat go dry and body turn heavy. For a second, he just stood in front of a pile of books, a notebook, a pencil case and his personal project (an arduino board he was playing with), all perfectly ordered on his desk. In that moment, Ornstein felt aversion to that sight. After everything that had happened that day, it was hard to believe that he had to deal with all of it tomorrow, to go back to class and pretend he was fine while trying to get good grades. It was stupid.

The fatigue started to show its effects on him. 

Ornstein closed his tired eyes and rubbed them. It wasn’t the first time he has been cheated on, that was a fact. Probably, he should have seen that coming, and maybe he did. That was why he had had a bad feeling when the room was filled with the notification’s sounds. But how he couldn’t have seen that coming before getting back together? Why did he have to believe Smough and his damn sweet-talking?! There was only one answer: Ornstein was the biggest fool to live on Earth.

In the room, just a quiet whisper carrying words of insult towards his person could be heard. The problem had showed up to punch him right in his stomach and there was nothing Ornstien could do to distract himself when he was alone without someone to comfort him.

Of course, he could go back to Ciaran, but Ornstein didn’t want to bother her anymore. At least, during that night.

Ornstein furrowed deeply, feeling filthy and used. When would come the day when he wasn’t toyed with? Had Smough ever loved him? Did all that time together really mean nothing to him? His mind was full of questions, and for each one of them a tear appeared in his eyes. Despite that, with a determined expression behind the sea of tears, Ornstein walked towards his bathroom and removed his clothes with quick moves. It was time to take a shower and calm down. It didn’t work, though. Not long after, he was under his covers, with the same tears that refused to leave his eyes. Out of frustration, he grunted and wiped his eyes. But the tears kept coming until he was a sobbing mess, face hidden in his pillow. His mind had been taken over by Smough, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Before falling asleep when there was one hour left until his alarm went off, Ornstein thought long and hard about their break up, Smough, and the multiple awfull scenarios where he was fucking some else.

* * *

His dorm was on the fifth floor, but being used to train several hours a week helped him greatly not to puke his lungs whenever he went upstairs. Gwynsen did all the way up, and walked a good stretch of the hallway before he abruptly stopped. The silence was interrupted by a long sigh. From an outside point of view, the sight would have been funny, and Gwynsen was really glad that no one got to see him.

How could he have forgotten giving Ornstein his room’s number, something to help him find him? That way he couldn’t return his sweater!

“I’m such a dumbass...” Whispering those words, he hit his forehead with a hand.

At the same time, a bulb was turned on in his head. Maybe Ornstein was still down there! Gwynsen turned around and jogged towards the stairs. There was a window in there, and, for a second, the student struggled a bit to open it. Finally, it was separated from its frame with a loud squeak. Clearly, that window wasn’t opened usually. Gwynsen’s head popped out of the building and wind hit his face. He needed first to take a big breath of air and close his eyes before getting used to it. Then, he scanned the residence’s entry. There was no one down there.

Drawing his eyebrows together, Gwynsen turned his eyes to the road.

Damn. When would the streetlights get fixed? It was so hard to see anything far away from the end of his residence. The student spent long seconds trying to make up something that resembled Ornstein’s figure, but all he got was something in his eyes.

“Fuck!” With one hand, Gwynsen rubbed at his eye, while, with the other, he closed the window.

There was a sigh of resignation. Most likely, if he went after Ornstein, he would face the same problem Ornstein would have when he came back to his residence to return his sweater. 

Maybe, with a bit of luck, when Ornstein came, the janitor of his building would be around and he would leave his sweater with him. But since that old man was never around he doubted it. To that day, it was a mystery where he was during his shift, but as his absence enabled certain behaviors from the student, no one had ever complained about it.

When his eyes finally stopped itching, Gwynsen returned to his room. 

Trying to be as quiet as a mouse, he opened the door with such slowness that some mystery films would have envied. His place was dark, but he didn’t need to turn on the lights to walk to his bed and strip to his underwear. 

After sliding his body under the sheets, he embraced the figure curled up on one side. His girlfriend turned around with sleepy eyes and touched his face with soft fingers, before leaving a peck on his lips.

“Did I wake you up, Quelaag?”

“No,” she murmured, snuggling her face in the crook of his neck. “I woke up when I heard some screams outside.”

Without thinking, Gwynsen's eyes fell on the window. It was barely opened and hidden behind thin white curtains that allowed some light to slip in.

“You took long,” Quelaag continued, fingers trailing his shoulder. “What happened down there?”

“Oh, well…” Gwynsen wrapped his arms around her. “I met this guy who has been cheated on. He looked really sad, and then his boyf- ex-boyfriend showed up and threw his clothes through the window… I stayed until he calmed down.”

Quelaag chuckled softly, “You’re always such a good guy…”

“What can I say?” He followed her chuckle, shrugging one shoulder.

“But… Let me ask you something. Do you know their names?”

“Their names?” Gwynsen repeated the question, a bit confused. “The guy’s Ornstein but I think he’d never mentioned his ex’s name. Why?”

Quelaag hummed in recognition. It was what she thought. After all, all kinds of rumours had reached her ears, thanks to some friends from the football team. It was no secret who Ornstein was and what kind of things he was used to doing. To put it in simple words, he was… promiscuous. When he wasn’t with his boyfriend called Smough, of course. Everybody knew those two, always fighting, breaking up and getting together after some time apart. For a while, they were fine, almost like a normal couple, but with each passing week their personalities were exposed. Damn, how many times had that guy been cheated on? Five, six times? Quelaag was sure that one time was more than enough for her to end things permanently. On top of that, some people said they’d been together (if being together meant having a discontinuous relationship...) for about eight or nine years. That was a whole life putting up with that bullshit!

For Quelaag, those two were highly problematic. That guy, Ornstein, was a complete idiot, always opening his legs for everyone. And Smough… it was better if she kept her mouth shut.

“Everybody knows them, babe,” she snorted. “But it doesn’t surprise me that you don’t have a clue of who they are.”

“I’m just… not interested in rumours and talking about other people’s lives. You know that.”

“I know! I’m not judging you.” 

Gwynsen smiled before placing a kiss on her forehead. 

“But… Damn,” she continued, “they have the worst relationship ever. You’ve already seen it. They are always like that! His boyfriend’s name is Smough, he always cheats on him. They break up, Smough lives his life for a while and Ornstein fucks every breathing thing, and when Smough is tired of whoever he was using, he crawls back to Ornstein like someone who could never break a plate. He always gets away with it because Ornstein is an idiot that forgives everything.”

“Wow… That’s… Pretty detailed,” Gwynsen wistled.

With some fingers, he started caressing her black soft hair. It made her let out a soft hum.

“I mean, when they break up, they scream a lot. So, pretty much they are telling their lives to complete strangers. And strangers love to talk.”

“Yeah, I guess. But damn… No wonder he was crying like a baby. From what you’d said, that relationship is like a living hell!”

“Don’t feel bad for him.” Quelaag snorted, and caressed Gwynsen’s feet with her own. “He had had plenty of opportunities to dump him for real. So, basically, that Ornstein has asked for what is happening to him right now. And, listen, you better stay out of that bullshit. You’ll save yourself a lot of problems.”

“Well, I lent him my sweater… And I need it back, so…”

“Why doesn't it surprise me?” She sighed long and deep, earning herself a chuckle from Gwynsen. “Alright, listen, you get your sweater back and never talk to him again. I don’t want his problems and that filthy drama to get into our lives.”

“Sure, babe.” Gwynsen kissed her. Then, with a grin against her lips, he added in a baby voice: “Whatever my little cute princess asks me!”

Quelaag let out a laugh and pushed his shoulder.

“Don’t be silly!”

Between laughs, the couple shared more kisses. Quelaag ended up being the first one to break the embrace and turned around. Gwynsen yawned big and waited for her to get comfortable against him. Then, from behind, he wrapped one arm around her torso and held her closer. His hand was grabbed and a kiss was placed on his knuckles. He felt a smile against his skin and couldn’t hold back his own.

Not long after, both of them fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I don't really have many wholesome headcanons about smoughstein. The ones I have (you've read then in this chapter) were adopted after reading [MrsLittletall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsLittletall/pseuds/MrsLittletall)'s fics about them. So, go check them because their are really good! ^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ailnoth is the name I gave Dragonslayer Armor ^^

There was hardly anyone in the classroom. Just a group of four students chatting around a desk and another two sitting in their respectives seats. Outside, though, was another thing. There was a large group of people chatting with their cardboards cups of coffee in hand, some even hastily eating their bought breakfast at the faculty’s cafeteria. For that reason, Ailnoth practically had to make his way with his elbows. After slipping his body through the mass of students and greeting some classmates, he got inside. The empty and quiet sight incited a sigh to leave his lips. 

Nevertheless, he walked towards his usual desk in the last row and placed his backpack on the ground. Getting his notebook and pen from it, he took another look around. More students had come inside, but none were Ornstein. Ailnoth would never admit it, but his ginger friend was the only reason why he was extremely timely.

The student opened his notebook and turned the pages until he got the notes from the last class. Skimming through them, Ailnoth sighed. He was retaking that subject of third year and not even the advantage of already knowing what they were going to study helped him to understand the matter. He hoped to pass it that time, along with other subjects of second year...

A sigh and the sound of a chair being dragged came from next to him. Ailnoth swiftly averted his eyes from his notebook, his heart skipping a beat, to look at the redhead placing his belongings on the desk. The corner of his mouth was pulled into a half smile while his eyes travelled from Ornstein’s long hands, his arms, his neck, his red locks pulled into a ponytail to the bangs framing his handsome face. Ailnoth opened his mouth to greet him, but when Ornstein turned his face to him, a deep line of concern appeared on his brow. Puffy eyes and dark circles under them were returning him the stare. Before forcing a close-lip smile, Ornstein tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Alright, what has happened to you?” Ailnoth asked, his smile faded and arm leaned on the back of his chair to look better at his friend.

Ornstein looked around them, his eyes checking how many eyes and ears were casually turned to them. His hesitation to talk was palpable, but it didn’t come as a surprise. Ailnoth was used to his reserved personality. Not for nothing it had taken him weeks and weeks to get his trust. In the end, he simply patted his friend on the back in a comforting manner, his hand lingering a bit more than it should under his neck’s line.

“Why don’t we go get a coffee during our free period?” Ailnoth asked. Then, while using a hand to get his black short bangs out of the way, an idea spreaded his lips into a smirk. “Or... we could go now. You look about to pass out, and I don’t think you can handle this boring class in such condition.”

“For a second you sounded convincing...” There was a flash of teeth in what could be interpreted as a tired smile. “We stay.”

“But-”

Ornstein pushed his arm away, shaking his head.

“No. Stop it. I’m not going to skip this class again. We haven’t taken it since last week! But if you want to go...” He waved off his hand towards the door.

It was their usual, a brief discussion to determine their destiny for the day. Sometimes, Ailnoth, lazier than the other student, could make good use of his golden tongue and work his way through the thick layer of the characteristic responsibility of Ornstein. Other times, however, it was impossible to change Ornstein’s mind and convince him to skip classes and go with him. It seemed that day, despite tiredness taking over the redhead, Ailnoth didn’t have a chance.

In any case, it was impossible for Ornstein to deny he had a good time with his friend whenever they didn’t attend classes, even if they never did anything special (except a couple of times they went to a mall) but talked about their common interest. To Ornstein, it was surprising how easy it was to talk with Ailnoth. But it hadn’t always been like that. At first, they went through lots of uncomfortable silence and stares, having it hard to find a middle ground to talk. All because it was complicated for Ornstein to feel at ease around new people. Ailnoth learned it after the first couple of failed attempts to talk with the quiet student sitting in front of him, and had found it unexpected for that wasn’t the first impression he had builded around his friend. Good thing he decided to stick around.

“You don’t seem to have a problem with that.” Ailnoth tilted his head, searching for his eyes and suppressing the need to touch him again. “We can study this evening if that is what concerns you.”

“Why study later when we can just attend and save us extra work?”

Ailnoth opened his mouth to reply but, at the same moment, the mass of students waiting outside stormed inside. His nose was wrinkled and, with his elbow, he pushed Ornstein slightly, clicking his tongue. The redhead let out a soft brief chuckle, knowing he had won their discussion of the day.

After the last student had come inside, their professor Havel stepped in the classroom, gradually turning silent, and closed the door. He was a short bulky man with black hair slicked back and grey hair starting to grow on both sides of his head. Although he was short, he carried an imposing aura with him, only needing a glare from his beady blue eyes to silence a room. All students respected him because of that. Rumors had it that, before starting to work at Anor Londo’s university, he had been a bishop. There was no way to prove that, of course, and Ornstein, with great experience in them, preferred to ignore what people said about others. Although, it was true (he had to admit it) that being a bishop was something that didn’t suit their professor and the mental image was funny enough to get a laugh from him.

While professor Havel greeted his students and asked where they left it last day, Ornstein cast a sidelong glare at Ailnoth, his hands opening his notebook mechanically.

“Anyway, I’d like to go later,” the redhead whispered.

His words earned him a long sigh and a head shook. Then, he felt Ailnoth’s hand squishing his arm, but no words came from his mouth. When Ornstein pointed an arched eyebrow to him, he found a smile on his lips.

As Ailnoth had predicted, the class was boring. With each one of professor Havel’s dull words, Ornstein felt his life drained. His classes had the fame to be the worst, not only of third-year but of the whole degree. The subject was complicated and there was always a lot of homework to do. On top of that, as if someone wanted to overload the poor burned students, they had to do a project that weighted half the grade. To that day, Ornstein was sure that it had been meticulously studied to be the most difficult shit ever, with the purpose to make people drop out. Therefore, it was impossible to understand why Ailnoth wanted (and why Ornstein ended up following him) to skip those classes!

Even knowing that Ornstein should pay attention no matter what, it was impossible for him to keep his focus during the whole hour. From time to time, Ornstein couldn’t help to remember what happened last night. The memory of Smough’s voice managed to take his mind off the lecture. Only Ailnoth changing his posture from time to time or the sound of his pen hitting the desk for playing with it could bring Ornstein back to reality. The student flinched, looked around and tried to understand a couple of words from Havel’s explanation to place them on the slides behind him. 

In the end, it was pointless. His mind always ended up closing his doors to reality so he could lick his wounds, or dig his fingers on them.

With the monotonous voice of his professor in the background, Ornstein was at the verge of falling asleep right there, his body feeling heavy. That wasn’t only because of the lack of sleep, but also for the poor little rest he had thanks to an awful nightmare featuring Smough and the made up image of his new guy.

Abruptly, professor Havel interrupted himself and checked his wrist-watch. A brief apology sprout from his lips while Ailnoth straightened with interest. The class was dismissed after pointing out it lasted five more minutes of what it corresponded (as if the students hadn’t already noticed…).

“Finally...” Ailnoth sighed, stretching himself. 

Ornstein hadn’t noticed that everyone was starting to pack their stuff. His eyes were lost on the white page of his notebook, untouched since he had sat down. When Ailnoth noticed his friend was still, he pointed an inquiring eyebrow at him. Scratching the back of his head, he observed the concerned look on the redhead’s face. It made him wonder again what had happened to him, but knowing Ornstein wouldn’t answer him in the classroom, he opted for snapping his fingers in front of his nose.

“Ey, the class is over,” he said, causing a flinch from the other student. “Wake up!”

A grunt left Ornstein’s lips, before he turned his gloomy face to Ailnoth, blinking slowly. 

“What do you want?”

Somehow, his reaction dragged a chuckle from Ailnoth, the sight was as adorable as ridiculous.

“I’ve told you so, man. You really need that coffee,” he answered, his hand playfully rubbing the redhead’s shoulder.

“Whatever. Let’s just go.” While rolling his eyes, Ornstein pushed his hand out of him and proceeded to throw his untouched stuff inside his backpack. 

Ailnoth did the same, and when both were ready, they left the classroom. Walking down a corridor full of students running to their next class, he glared down at a silent Ornstein. Again, the same question popped up in his head.

“I suppose you weren’t paying attention at all, were you?,” Ailnoth exclaimed, the need to say something overtaking him. 

“I was paying attention in class,” Ornstein puffed, giving him a sideway look. 

“Oh, really?”

“Really.”

“So, you know what we need to do for the project?” Ailnoth asked with a smirk playing on his lips. “You know, I got distracted a bit when Havel was explaining it… It would be a pity if none of us took notes of the requirements.”

“What? The project?” Ornstein groaned, slightly throwing his head back. “Are you serious?”

Ailnoth chuckled. “Why do you need to lie to me? As if I didn’t already know you…”

“Because sometimes you are really annoying!” Ornstein pointed, before rubbing his face with a hand. “So… Did you take notes or…?”

“Yes, I did. I have written everything. And the professor is going to send an email with everything we need to know, so… don’t worry.”

“Care to explain?” Ornstein sighed.

The relief on his face was as clear as a blue sky, and Ailnoth let himself to indulge in the sight of Ornstein’s face softening ever so slightly.

They walked down some stairs. While Ailnoth was explaining the subject of work (a complicated topic that would bring them headaches for the next few months) as well as he could, they got to the first floor of their faculty. Only a few more turns, and they would reach the cafeteria.

“And, how many people can work in the same group? Please, tell me that it’s just going to be us…” Ornstein pleaded the last part in a murmur, putting some locks behind his ear before looking up at Ailnoth. 

His hair decided, however, not to obey him. With just a tilt of his head they were again in the way. Ornstein sighed and reached behind his head to redo his ponytail.

The redhead hated working on projects with people he wasn’t familiar with. Unfortunately, on his degree, it happened to be pretty much everyone. From three long years of experience, he knew he would end up doing all the work while his classmates scratched his balls, made up the worst excuses or simply banished from Earth until the last day of class. He didn’t know why he had such bad luck with them. Maybe it was because they all see him with a clown face? Either way, it was a matter of fact he had to put up with that shit until his last day at university, only because he didn’t feel like telling them off to save him some problems…

It was different with Ailnoth, though. Probably that had been one of the reasons why Ornstein had decided to let him closer.

Ailnoth took a moment to reply, after being distracted by Ornstein’s fingers working on his beautiful hair. The ginger locks felt on his shoulder when Ornstein took off his hair tie to clean it from loose hair. Then, he dug his fingers in it to tie it back into his usual ponytail. For a second, Ailnoth felt the urge to suggest to do his hairstyle for him just so he could caress his hair.

Ignoring the ticklish in his stomach and fixing his eyes in the end of the hallway, Ailnoth finally answered, “The groups can be from two to four people...”

Ornstein sighed relieved, lowering his arms. His hair gently swung from side to side and the taller student couldn’t resist looking at it again. 

“Then, it’ll be just us. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Why?” Ailnoth asked with a sarcastic tone of voice. “Poor classmates. What have they done to you?”

The two of them had done another project, smaller than the one they were going to do, which was due to last Friday. In that one, they had been three, and not very lucky with the third member of the group (it came as no surprise to Ornstein). Therefore, Ailnoth was well aware of the way Ornstein could get when someone was lazy. That last time, his friend got really mad and couldn’t stop shit-talking about the poor classmate. Although Ailnoth understood him, he couldn’t help to think the whole situation was funny: they were up on the clock and the project turned out fine, still Ornstein couldn’t relax not even a little bit! Not like Ailnoth didn’t care or anything, but he was more laid back than the redhead, so he could enjoy the little group drama for a while.

As an answer, Ornstein simply snorted and rolled his eyes. It earned him a chuckle from the taller man.

The pair of friends crossed the double glass door of the cafeteria. The place wasn’t as crowded as it used to be around that time. There were just two groups of students sitting on different tables and three professors chatting next to the counter with a cup of coffee in each of their hands.

With a quick look around, Ailnoth and Ornstein walked to the counter where the old man working there was checking something in a worn out notebook. When he noticed them waiting, Ailnoth greeted him. The pair was given a kind smile and a nod before the man disappeared behind a wall hiding the kitchen. There was no need for them to order. All thanks to Ailnoth and his regular visits. A bit later, the old man came back with two coffees and a sandwich.

Ornstein was about to look for his wallet inside his backpack, but he was stopped by his friend, who had already pulled his own wallet out.

“I got this. Today is my turn, remember?” he said.

Ornstein sighed while closing his backpack, “Yeah, right...”

After paying the bill and exchanging a few words with the old man, they took their order to an empty table. When they sat down, Ailnoth looked at his cup of coffee and blinked at it. The liquid was black, with barely a drop of milk. In front of him, Ornstein let out a disgusted noise.

“This is yours.” At the same time, both of them exchanged their cups of coffee.

The correct cup for him had coffee with plenty of milk. That one was even bigger than Ornstein’s, and when Ailnoth had it in front of him, he smiled pleasantly. Then, he picked up a little bag of sugar and poured it whole into his drink. All the while, Ornstein just took a sip from his cup and checked his phone.

“I still don’t understand how you can drink that. It’s so bitter!” Ailnoth contemplated.

Ornstein shrugged, eyes fixed on his screen, “Yours is too sweet for me. But without milk, it tastes better. You should try it someday.”

“I’ve done it,” Ailnoth leaned back on his chair, taking a sip from his drink. “I like coffee, but when it tastes good.”

“You just have to get used to it.”

In that moment, Ornstein’s face flinched ever so slightly with disappointment. He was expecting Smough to show signs of life, but there was none. Did their relationship mattered so little to him for not wanting to talk with him anymore? The least he could do was to apologize, but he couldn’t do even that! Then, Ornstein thought… Should he send the first message, make the first phone call?

“Mmh… Not gonna happen soon,” Ailnoth said, noticing the worry on his face and waving the little bag in front of the redhead to drag his attention.

It worked. The movement made Ornstein look at him. For a moment, his eyes were fixed on him, until something clicked inside his head and the redhead decided to block his phone and turn it down.

“You know, this is the same with chocolate. Once you get used to black you start preferring it over chocolate with milk, or even white. Ew.”

“Wait. Not only you don’t like white chocolate, if you excuse me, the best chocolate ever, but also, you prefer black chocolate?” Ailnoth asked, eyebrows lifted. “Unbelievable! What kind of friend do I have?”

Ornstein let out a chuckle, one that sounded listless, before drinking from his cup. His eyes returned back to the phone, with clear intention to pick it up again. Just then, Ailnoth smashed his hands on the table.

“Alright, what happened to you? This face...” the dark-haired pointed the bags under his eyes with his finger, “This face isn’t normal. You always look more handsome than this.”

Ornstein’s brow furrowed. “That’s no true, Ailnoth...”

“Oh, believe me. I’m only telling you now because you look like you need some cheer up. But I don’t want it to get to your head, hmpf!” Ailnoth said in a joking tone. 

It made Ornstein pull the corner of his mouth into a tiny, shy smile.

“Idiot…” Ornstein’s voice sounded even tender.

For a second, Ailnoth indulged in the sight of the redhead’s face, so cute and handsome in equal parts (if he ignored how tired the other looked). He was trying really hard not to smile, feeling proud for tearing such a gesture from his classmate. But it was hard when Ornstein smiled in that way, a way that made him feel butterflies in his stomach.

Yet, as quickly as the smile appeared on his face, it banished. Ornstein let out the longest sigh ever, and brought up his hands to rub his face. With a measured gesture, Ailnoth caressed the outside of his arm.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me. But know that I’m here for you.”

“No… It’s fine. I’m just…” Ornstein sighed, tired, and forced a smile. “Alright, this… This is pretty heavy. You need to promise me you won’t tell anyone, and… won’t laugh at me.”

After his words, Ailnoth observed him with great curiosity behind his concerned expression. 

Before biting on his neglected sandwich, he said, “Of course, I would never do that.”

Ornstein nodded, satisfied with his answer.

“Do you remember my boyfriend, Smough? You met him at a party, around two weeks ago.”

Ailnoth took a moment before answering even though he remembered him well. Furthermore, he already knew about their long tragic story. When he met Ornstein on the first day of class and told a friend about it, said friend started to spill out all the gossip about them. He caught up with the residence’s general knowledge in a jiffy, but Ornstein didn’t know about that. Telling him would probably risk their friendship, and his chances.

Although he was well aware of who Smough was, Ailnoth put on his most convincing expression of being deep in thoughts.

“Yeah, I think I remember him. Big tall guy, blonde hair… Right?” As an answer, Ornstein nodded. “Good thing Ciaran was also there, because-”

“No need to continue,” the redhead interrupted him, scrunching his nose, his eyes getting a gloomy shadow. Then, in a quieter tone, he continued, “But yes, that one… Well, the thing is… We split up. He…” 

The redhead made a pause, squinting his eyes in disgust. The gesture confirmed Ailnoth’s guessing.

Even if he already knew the answer, he decided to push Ornstein a little bit, “Why? What happened?”

“He cheated on me. I caught him with some nudes of a guy called Ledo, and those messages… He was saying that their hook-up had been amazing, and that he hoped Smough hadn't forgotten about him!” Ornstein took a deep breath, before letting a grunt out.

“Really?!” Ailnoth tried to sound as shocked as he could.

“It grossed me out so much you have no idea…”

“Poor thing… Is this the first time that it happens?”

His interest only made Ornstein start to tell him the story Ailnoth already knew, but with more accurate details. When Ornstein finished, he was biting at his bottom lip with an unusual force and avoiding to look at Ailnoth. Shame was all over his face. The other student, on the other hand, was torn between feeling pity for his friend or slapping his face to wake him up. Either way, they were finally over.

“Probably, you are thinking I’m a fool right now,” Ornstein said in a choked whisper.

“For what?”

“For going back to him, over and over again.”

Ailnoth couldn’t lie to himself. He thought Ornstein was stupid for letting someone play with him, but regardless of his true thoughts, it wasn’t the moment to tell him that. It wouldn’t do anyone good. Not when Ornstein was already at the verge of tears, clearly trying really hard to hold them back. Ailnoth didn’t want to make things worse for neither of them.

“Oh, no! I don’t think you are a fool at all,” Ailnoth answered, extending his hand to grab one of Ornstein.

“Don’t lie to me!” The redhead looked at him with a frown, but it didn’t help to make him look upset.

“I’m not lying to you,” Ailnoth insisted. “Sometimes, when you love someone, it’s hard to let them go. Your heart is unable to forget them.”

A silence appeared between them. In said silence, Ornstein looked startled at his classmate, all the while wiping the few tears pilling up in his eyes.

“That was-”

“No need to say anything,” Ailnoth interrupted Ornstein. “I’m even surprised I’ve said something so cheesy. This feels so weird...”

When Ailnoth finished talking, he faked a shiver, though there was a tiny smile on his lips. One that Ornstein timidly mirrored. 

His words, even if they were unusual for Ailnoth to say (he always sticked to jokes to try lift the mood), made Ornstein feel a bit better about himself. He truly felt like a fool most of the time, but what Ailnoth had said put in words the very feelings he struggled to voice. Since the day Ornstein had fallen in love with Smough, there hadn’t been another person he had ever loved as much as him, nor made him feel so happy (when they were on good terms). Ornstein didn’t want to lose Smough again, not after fighting for their relationship, forgiving so many things, going through so many problems and overcoming them together... The only thing he wanted was to live a happy life with Smough, but, in the end, all he got was misery. Smough didn’t care about him or love him. He prefered other guys that were better than him: more handsome, smarter, funnier, more interesting, even with a better ass…

Ornstein looked down at his hand, squished under Ailnoth’s, and his face grew darker.

“Listen, there is nothing wrong in forgiving him in the past,” the voice of Ailnoth came soft after noticing the change, “but if Smough cheats on you after all the opportunities you’ve given him, he doesn’t deserve you. Like, damn, he is a dumbass for screwing a relationship with someone as great as you.”

The redhead retrieved his hand and took a long sip from his cup, feeling half uncomfortable for hearing Smough being insulted and half flustered for the free compliment. The coffee was cooling and tasted a bit weird. Ailnoth just let Ornstein take his time to answer, and drank from his cup as well.

“This is so complicated… I don’t know what to do.”

Extending his other hand, Ailnoth held Ornstein’s hand between his two. For a brief moment, he even thought of kissing his pale and cold fingers, but discarded the idea. Still, the touch of Ornstein’s skin never failed in setting a small fire within him. 

“What you need is to take time for yourself and forget what happened,” Ailnoth said, squishing his hand. With a tiny smile, he continued, “Maybe have a little fun with your friends, go out, party... And do other things you aren't used to doing with Smough.”

“You said « _my friends_ » as if I have plenty…” Ornstein snorted, a sad smile on his lips.

“That’s not true! And what’s the matter in only having Ciaran and I as friends, huh?” Ailnoth crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow, his posture carrying a carefree demeanor.

Ornstein shook his head, and Ailnoth would have sworn he was about roll his eyes.

“Nothing, of course. Either way… Thank you. For listening to my problems.”

“Always for you,” Ailnoth smiled, winking an eye.

Suddenly, Ornstein’s stomach growled, loud and clear. The redhead retrieved his hand from the tender hold when Ailnoth narrowed his eyes at him. It made his cheeks blush.

“You haven’t eaten anything today, have you?” Ailnoth asked, thinking that Ornstein didn’t have the right to look so adorable.

“I… couldn’t. I don’t have the stomach to eat.”

“You should eat something, at least something small,” the taller man sighed, rubbing his chin. “Drinking coffee with an empty stomach can be bad for you...”

Then, Ailnoth looked down at his barely touched sandwich and knew exactly what to do. Taking it, he cut off the bitten part with his hands, and pushed the plate towards Ornstein.

“Here, take this,” he said, eating the cut part in one mouthful. “If you still feel hungry, I can buy you another one.”

“Thank you, but… I can’t eat your food,” Ornstein said, pushing the plate back to his classmate with a shake of his head.

“It’s not mine anymore,” Ailnoth replied, returning the plate to Ornstein. “Besides, if you don’t eat it, forget about going to the next class.”

The redhead wrinkled his nose and let out a groan, although, in the end, he just gave in. It was better than bearing an annoying Ailnoth trying to make him stay. His classmate looked at him with a satisfied grin when he bit the food. In return, Ornstein rolled his eyes.

“Oh, come on,” Ailnoth teased, “Don’t be like that, I’m just worried about you!”

“Yes, sure,” Ornstein snorted. After taking another bite and swallowing it, he added, “By the way, what time is it?”

Ailnoth looked at the numbers on the screen upon taking his phone out of his pocket. An impish grin appeared on his lips, but he tried really hard to hide it under Ornstein’s gaze. The redhead titled his head, eyebrow slightly raised in an inquisitive manner.

“What is so funny?”

“We are... ten minutes late to the next class.”

Ornstein let out a long groan, “Sometimes I really hate you...”

Ailnoth chuckled before drinking the rest of his coffee in one gulp. It was time to change topics before Ornstein considered facing his shame for being late and decided to run back to class.

“Anyway. I’ve started this new manga and I think you would like it.”

“Really?” Ornstein asked grudgingly, leaning his chin on his hand, his nose wrinkled. “And what is it?”

The taller student smiled wide.

* * *

“Easy, easy...” Ciaran murmured against Ornstein’s hair, her hand tracing comforting circles on his back in a slow movement.

The residence room was filled with Ornstein’s weeping. Her friend, a babbling mess, crying his heart out on her shoulder, had knocked on Ciaran’s door not long after she came back from having lunch at the cantine, alone.

Normally, the two of them would eat together, but that day had been different. That was why Ciaran wondered the whole time where Ornstein was and why her messages hadn’t been replied. The answer came later, once she opened her door and Ornstein promptly came from his room and appeared behind her. His face was the face of someone who was having troubles keeping it together, and Ciaran immediately knew he wanted her support.

“Why am I not good enough for him?” Ornstein sobbed, before sniffing. “I always do my best to make him feel like he’s the only one in my life, but no matter what I do, he-” Another sob left his lips. Ornstein didn’t dare to finish the phrase. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Oh, dear…” Ciaran said in a soft tone of voice, removing herself from the strong hug. 

Ornstein looked at her with puffy red eyes, all sobs and wet cheeks from tears that never stopped, waiting for his friend to continue. Ciaran took his time to do so, though. Cupping Ornstein’s face gently, she ran her thumbs over his cheekbones to wipe his tears until the gesture managed to calm him down, just a little bit. 

Then, holding both his hands, she said: “There is nothing wrong with you. Smough just doesn’t value the amazing man he has lost.”

“Maybe he has grown tired of me. Like, yes, sure. At first, it’s all good and beautiful, but then he realizes how boring I am, and-” Ornstein sobbed. “And then he meets other dudes who are better and-”

“Ornstein, that’s stupid! Ever since I’ve met you, you have been nothing but an amazing friend! You aren’t boring at all and I love spending time with you! Why did Smough tell you that?”

The redhead shrugged, averting his eyes to avoid acknowledging the fact the previous night Smough hadn’t said exactly that, but it was Ornstein who believed it.

“He also said that I’m a control freak...”

“What?”

Nodding, Ornstein scratched his runny nose and continued, “I checked his phone. I know I shouldn’t, but… I found nudes of another guy, messages… I’ve gone through his phone a couple of times before and Smough got tired of it… That’s why… He says he can be himself when he isn’t with me.”

Ciaran frowned. For a split of a second, she thought over the best way to approach what Ornstein had said. What her friend had done wasn’t right, but given that Ornstein apparently knew it, she decided to reprimand him later. Once he wasn’t a crying mess.

“That’s bullshit! If you are doing that, it’s because he isn’t capable of keeping his dick inside his pants! He can’t blame you after messing with your head!”

There was a small pout on Ornstein’s lips. He didn’t seem to be hearing her at all. More tears appeared on his eyes. After removing his hand from the soft hold Ciaran kept on it, Ornstein started to wipe his reddened eyes. However, with the intensity of his crying, the student only managed to spread the tears over his cheeks. It was uncomfortable and frustrating in equal parts. Ornstein ended up giving up. 

A desire to bring his knees to his chest was growing bigger inside him. Ornstein felt small, helpless. He wanted to disappear just to stop feeling the immense anguish and the stabbing pain in his chest, which prevented him from breathing. The prospect of living a life without Smough looming over him was unbearable. More than he could ever handle.

In the end, Ornstein decided to hide himself, with his back buried in the soft pillows of Ciaran’s bed and arms hugging his legs. His friend, sitting in front of him with a concerned expression, gave him the space he needed.

The silence was prolonged more than Ornstein had wanted. When he talked again, his voice sounded odd, raspy.

“What am I going to do now?”

“What do you mean?” Ciaran tilted her head, one hand moving to caress his leg.

“Our families… They are so close. We basically do all together. If we break up for good… I don’t want to deal with his father nor my mom.” Ornstein let out a sound that was half a sob, half a grunt. His face was buried in his knees and therefore he couldn’t see Ciaran puffing her cheeks out, her eyes gazing at the ceiling trying to think of something to help him. “God... Sometimes, I think my mom loves Smough even more than I. What am I even going to tell her? She will be mad at me! And what about holidays? I’m so screwed...”

While Ornstein cried his distressed heart out once again, Ciaran moved closer and wrapped her arms around his shaking form. It took Ornstein a while to calm down. When Ciaran least expected it, she was pulled into another thigh hug.

“No one says your mother will get angry at you, Orn,” she said in a soft voice, one hand caressing his red locks. “I bet she’ll understand if you explain what happened to her.”

“You don’t get it, she has Smough on a pedestal. When this has happened before...” Ornstein loosened his arms to look at Ciaran. “She barely listened to me. Last time she played it down, and everyday she called me to consider talking with him. It was so… overwhelming.”

Ciaran sighed, tilting her head. A blond lock was out of her braid. It framed her face and even tickled her skin a bit. With a hand, she put it behind her ear, Ornstein’s eyes following her every movement.

“I’m sorry to hear that…” she replied, “But you shouldn't worry about holidays. We are barely starting the course. And about your mom… Don’t tell her yet. If she calls you, just ignore her. You don’t have to put up with it right now.”

“Maybe… I just hope Smough won’t tell them.”

“If he does, then do what I’ve told you. You don’t have to give your mother explanations of what you do anymore”

Suddenly, Ornstein let out a grunt and threw his head back. 

“Why does this shit have to be so complicated?!”

Ciaran gave him a sympathetic smile. “Break ups are complicated…”

After Ornstein was done sighing and rubbing his tired face, they hugged again. Then, the taller student averted his eyes. His face, apart from sadness and frustration, showed shame. It was a bit hard to make it out, but for Ciaran reading her friend’s face had never been a problem. It had always been like an open book.

“The… The other guys…” His voice was a thin thread. Again, Ciaran couldn’t help but to show him support through physical contact. Her hand started caressing his arm. “You should have seen them. They are… so hot. I even knew some of them before Smough… They are so handsome and funny… Then, look at me. No wonder Smough prefers them...”

“Oh, Ornstein, no, no...” Ciaran sighed, observing how her friend started to wipe his tears (once again, to no avail) from his eyes. “Don’t put yourself down like that! Just because he... fucks other people, it doesn’t mean you aren’t enough!”

It seemed like her words of comfort hadn’t convinced Ornstein, not even slightly. 

Without answering, he just lowered his gaze, hand rubbing his runny nose. Ciaran frowned at that, her expression flooded with a mixture of sadness for her friend and anger towards Smough. It pained her to no end hearing the way Ornstein was thinking so little of himself because of his ex-boyfriend, how he was crying his heart out for that fucking asshole. Ciaran had never gotten on with Smough, but after hurting his friend like that, the chances for it to happen someday were under zero. 

Lowering herself to meet Ornstein’s gaze, she continued with a soft tone of voice:

“Do you want to know my opinion?” Ornstein blinked before rushing to nod his head. Then, her lips were pulled into a tiny smile. “I think he is a fucking idiot for prefering other guys over you. I mean, you are quite a catch! Smart, funny, hot... If you were into girls I’d be the first one in line trying to get your attention.”

With green glassy eyes, Ornstein observed her as if a second head was starting to grow on her shoulder.

“What are you talking about? You are ace…”

“I mean, but if I was into men in _that_ way…,” she started, her smile growing bigger in a teasing manner. “Dude… I’d be thirsting for you. All day wondering why you are so hot, thinking about that ass of yours, having we-”

“Enough!” Ornstein exclaimed, placing one of his hands over Ciaran’s mouth. Under his palm, she let out a chuckle. It was unbelievable, but it made the ghost of a smile to appear on Ornstein’s lips, even though his cheeks blushed a bit.

“Aha! A smile!” 

Ciaran’s words got muffled, but Ornstein could get an idea of what she’d said. Slowly, he removed his hand, his eyes watching the softness on Ciaran’s revealed smile. One of her hands reached for his cheek and caressed it.

“You know… Even though you don’t want me to keep telling you how handsome you are, I definitely want to steal you from Smough. Unlike him, I know how to appreciate the awesome person you are. As I told you, you are smart, sensible and funny. Do you hear me? There is so much good in you.”

“It doesn’t feel that way…”

“Only because you are heart-broken. Over time… Trust me, you’ll find someone that will truly love you.”

“But… I don’t want someone else. I want Smough,” Ornstein sighed from the bottom of his heart. “God, I already miss him so much...”

“Oh, dear… I can imagine.”

Even if Ciaran didn’t like Smough, she must accept her friend’s feelings. Still, she really wished things to be different for him.

“Last night…,” Ornstein started, lowering his gaze. No matter how many times Ciaran had taken the role of adviser, he would always find it difficult to come clean. “I thought that, maybe, he is right... If I wasn’t such a control freak… Maybe it’s my fault and I simply mistook what was happening.”

Ornstein suddenly felt uncomfortable and moved his body so he was sitting with his legs crossed again.

“I’m going to be honest with you.” Ciaran tilted her head, the expression on her face becoming serious. “What you did wasn’t right, but, come on. Do you really believe he is telling the truth? Smough has cheated on you three times already. Even if checking his phone wasn’t right, you found out those pictures. As much as it hurts…”

Ciaran decided to stop and bit her lower lip, observing, with a broken heart, the new tears piling up in Ornstein’s eyes.

“But, what if I wasn’t so oppressive? Maybe he’d feel happier, be himself around me.”

“Be himself?” Ciaran scoffed. “Ornstein, Smough means getting away after fucking whoever he wants. Darling, that’s not the type of relationship you both agreed to have! The problem isn’t you but him, with his dumb excuses and lies... Please, don’t listen to him!”

“I don’t know what to do…” Ornstein lamented, sniffling and wiping his eyes while thinking he really needed to calm down at once. “Do you think I should call him?”

“Of course not! Don’t even think about doing it!” Ciaran answered, blue eyes slightly opened and shaking her head rapidly. “What you need right now is taking time for yourself. Focus on your studies for a while, on your hobbies, on that nerdy project of yours…”

Ornstein rolled his eyes at the last thing Ciaran had said.

“By the way, when was the last time you ate? I didn’t see you at the cantine.”

“This morning...” Ornstein turned his face to avoid her gaze, blinking away the last tears from his eyes.

“And what did you eat?”

“Half a sandwich... I was having breakfast with Ailnoth.” 

The answer earned him a reprimand sigh.

“Alright. First things first. Let’s get you some food. You need to get out of these walls for a while and get some fresh air.”

Ornstein shook his head, “I don’t feel like going out like this...”

After hearing his half-muttered words, Ciaran took a look at his appearance: the puffy eyes, as red as his nose, the chapped lips, the messy hair, disheveled in the places where his head had leant on the bed and with its ponytail slightly undone... Nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

“Then, go wash your face and drink some water. I can brush your hair, if you don’t feel like doing it by yourself.”

“So, is this just because you want to do my hair?” Ornstein narrowed his eyes.

At that, Ciaran rolled her eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving her lips. “Of course not! Now, come on. Let’s go to your room.”

Ornstein shook his head before letting his body slide down. Laying on the bed, he murmured, “I don’t want to. Why can’t we just stay here? I’ll have dinner later...”

“You can’t wait that much. Practically, it’s been a whole day since you ate properly. I can’t allow that!”

“Yes, you can.”

“No! You need to go grab something to eat before the canteen closes.”

“I’ll eat later! Seriously, you don’t need to worry!”

Ciaran groaned, promptly getting up and grabbing one of his arms. “Let’s go!”

Her face was full of resolve while Ornstein simply observed her with mild curiosity. Then, using all her strength, she managed to pull his body almost to the bed’s edge. Ornstein already knew how strong she was despite her small appearance. However, it was true that, sometimes, he could forget about it.

“Holy shit,” Ornstein murmured, eyes widened in shock. His body mechanically sat down to avoid any possible harm.

“Come on!” Ciaran exclaimed, hands starting to pull him once again. “You better get up before-”

“Say no more.”

Ornstein got up in a jiffy, which made a big grin to appear in Ciaran’s thin lips. The next time her hands touched him wasn’t to gracelessly pull him, but to gently lead him towards his room. The door hadn’t been locked due to an oversight, so it only needed a turn of the knob to get the both of them inside. Ornstein was slightly annoyed, not only because he didn’t want to leave the comfort of his room (or Ciaran’s) but also because the last thing he needed that day was to be dragged around by someone who just reached his chin.

“I’ll wait here,” Ciaran said, pushing her friend inside the bathroom, “wash your face and get ready.”

“Yes...” he groaned, before closing the door on her face.

Behind it, Ciaran let out a sympathetic sigh.

With heavy steps, Ornstein walked towards the sink. The reflection on the mirror was glaring at him with pitiful eyes. Its look was nothing Ornstein wasn’t expecting beforehand: pathetic and whiny. His head was starting to pound from crying. Deep within his mind, Smough’s voice was saying he alway put on a show over nothing. It made him groan out of frustration. In a vain attempt to shut his beloved ex-boyfriend, he shook his head and turned the cold water on. It was splashed on his face with hands equally as cold. It felt nice. When he dried it with a towel, he picked the brush up. Still annoyed with Ciaran, but above all, annoyed with the world, Ornstein decided not to give her the pleasure of doing his hair. His red locks were all tangled, but Ornstein worked on them for a long while, lazily, taking his good time to delay going out with his friend. 

Until his hair wasn’t perfect (or more precisely, without knots), he didn’t tie it up. Ornstein checked his hairdo on the mirror, only to find that a bunch of thin locks prefered to fall down on his nape. He redid it, though, the next time, new knots appeared on top of his head. Ornstein tried two more times without success. In the end, a frustrated grunt left his lips and his elastic was thrown inside his drawer. His reflection was again at the verge of tears. With harsh movement, he wiped his eyes and tried to shut up Smough’s loud voice, all before going back to his room.

For his bad luck, Ciaran was standing in front of his desk, her hands holding Gwynsen’s velvet sweater.

“When are you going to give this back to your new friend?” she asked, raising her head to look at the cranky expression in Ornstein’s face. There was a small teasing smile on her lips.

If the fact that his hair had been brushed without Ciaran bothered her, she didn’t show it.

“I don’t know… I guess when I feel better,” Ornstein grunted, walking to the desk. 

In a swift movement, he took the garment out of her hands, fearing for what was going on in her mind. He knew the look she was wearing too well. Ciaran hummed at the sight of her friend giving the sweater a long look, her head tilted with great interest. 

“We can go together after you eat.”

At her words, Ornstein wrinkled his nose.

“You just want an excuse to meet him, don’t you?”

“Of course not!” Ciaran sounded offended. “I’m trying to help. The less time you spend alone, the better. Also, it’s an opportunity for you to breathe fresh air... Where is his room?”

There was a pause in which Ornstein’s face turned gloomy. “It's in Smough’s building.”

“Fuck…” she muttered, wrinkling her face.

“Then, can we leave this for another day?” Ornstein asked. A tired grimace appeared on his face.

“No,” Ciaran was blunt. Ornstein’s arm was grabbed by a soft hand that did nothing but bring closeness. Yet, for a moment, the redhead thought he was going to be dragged around once again. “Listen, this is like pulling off a bandage. If you take long, you’ll feel more pain. It has to be done quickly to feel as little as possible.”

A furrow appeared on Ornstein’s brow. “I’m not sure about this. What if we ran into Smough?”

“Didn’t you mention once that he has afternoon classes?”

In that moment, Ornstein regretted all the evenings he had sat down with Ciaran to tell her about his ex-boyfriend. He really wanted to avoid his place as much as he could, but he felt too tired to think of a proper excuse. Making his mind work with so few hours of sleep and food wasn’t a good idea at all.

“Maybe…”

“Then, there’s nothing for you to worry about,” Ciaran grinned. “Once you give this sweater back, you’ll be able to forget about that place and Smough.”

Resigned, Ornstein sighed and rubbed one of his eyes before agreeing. 

“Fuck, alright. But you’ll stay behind while I talk with Gwynsen.”

“Sure!” Ciaran chirped. “Speaking of which, why don’t you tell me what happened with him last night?”

The grunt that left Ornstein’s lips was more than expected.

The redhead student turned around and picked his backpack from the floor. With care, he put the footballer’s sweater inside. If they were going to eat first, he didn’t want to risk it getting dirty. After that, the pair of friends left the room. It didn’t take them long to walk down the first floor, pass the common area and reach the canteen.

The place was well illuminated, with a whole wall made of cristal that faced an inside garden. As expected, it was empty. The time to close was near and all the students living there had already eaten or had decided to eat somewhere else. For a brief moment, Ornstein hesitated, which made him stop under the door frame. He didn’t want to bother the women working in the kitchen. As a response, Ciaran grunted and pulled him inside. One of the women was cleaning the counter and her face lit up with recognition when the both of them approached her with quick steps. 

Ornstein stayed behind, his cheeks slightly blushing, while Ciaran whispered to her what had happened. From time to time, the woman looked at Ornstein with pity eyes. It didn’t bother him as she was dear to all the students for his kindness and his mother's attitude towards them. When Ciaran finished the short story, she turned around and entered the kitchen. From where the pairs of friends were waiting, the women's voices could be heard. After some minutes, she returned back with a steaming plate, likely of leftovers (not like Ornstein minded).

The woman told them not to worry and take their time. In return, Ornstein thanked her a million times. Still, when they sat down, he rushed himself to eat as much of the plate as he could, even if he felt his stomach closed.

On their way to Smough’s residence, Ciaran insisted once again about Gwynsen and Ornstein had no option but to finally give in. The fifteen minutes walk was more than enough to tell her the story and for her to ask every question she wanted. There was no doubt Ciaran was kind of a sports freak, the admiration and excitement in her voice was palpable. In addition, Ornstein’s stomach started to feel heavy. Refusing to believe that it was because of his nerves, Ornstein got to the conclusion that something might have not agreed with him... Although it perfectly may have been both.

When they were in front of the main door, Ornstein needed to take a deep breath to gather mental strength. Alas, the mental peace didn’t last more than a second. Standing in the hall, Ornstein felt he was about to puke. Even if he knew the chances of running into Smough were low, that small possibility made his legs tremble.

“On which floor is his room?” Ciaran asked, an arched blond eyebrow pointed up at him.

“I… don’t know.”

“What?”

“He left before telling me!” Ornstein replied, shrugging. Then, muttering, he added, “And I forgot to ask...”

“And how do you plan to give it back to him, huh?” Ciaran sighed, bringing a hand up to scratch the side of her forehead.

“We… We can leave it with the janitor.”

Ciaran hummed contentedly. Still, when she walked past Ornstein, she shook her head.

The pair of students found the reception empty, and on the counter, a tiny paper that read: «Coming in five minutes». It was clear the note had been written with a trembling hand, or one that didn’t care for good handwriting. Also, Ciaran noticed the small paper had a thin layer of dust. It was weird, but she didn’t comment on that during their long waiting that lasted more than five minutes. Ornstein was growing more nervous with the passing of time. He wanted to leave, but just when he opened his mouth to keep on at Ciaran, a short student came from one of the hallways.

Ciaran didn’t hesitate to reach him to ask whether he knew where the janitor was. The answer was daunting, but, after the waiting, it didn’t come as a surprise to her. Nobody knew where he was during his shift, and they only saw him on rare occasions. By the time she returned to Ornstein’s side, he was a total nervous wreck. Knowing why, Ciaran bit her lip, a feeling of distress setting on her stomach. She was about to tell him the bad news until a sudden idea popped on her mind.

“I might know where to find him,” she announced.

“The janitor?” Ornstein asked, changing his weight from one foot to the other.

“No, your _friend_. Let’s go.”

“How?”

Ornstein followed her to the outside, squinting his eyes when the only thing he got as an answer was a rushed murmur. Ciaran stopped at the end of the stairs. When she looked up at him, the sunlight hit her eyes in a way that made them bluer.

“Alright, maybe you won’t like this idea...”

“Let’s see,” Ornstein answered, crossing his arms in front of his chest, his body feeling tired.

After a deep breath, Ciaran said, “I’m not really sure, but I think the football team is training right now. Maybe we can find him at the practice field.”

“No way,” he spat, shaking his head. “That’s a hard pass.”

Ornstein took a step towards the only place where he could feel safe.

“Come on, Ornstein…” Ciaran let out a sigh. “It’ll take you just a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t care. The last thing I want today is to see those assholes.”

“I know, but, what do you prefer? Return here, risking seeing Smough, or end this little task for once and for all?

“Definitely, return here.”

His answer was final. Letting out all the air Ornstein didn’t know he was holding, he turned around to go to his room. Behind him, Ciaran’s groan could be heard loud and clear. After that, she rushed herself to reach Ornstein. In the blink of an eye, Ciaran was in front of him. By her demeanour, it was clear she wouldn’t let him walk further.

“Please, Ornstein. Even if he isn’t there, you need to get some air and clear your head...”

A silence settled between them. Ciaran’s eyes were the one of a small puppy and Ornstein spent a long moment looking at them, thoughtful.

“You just want to see them training, don’t you?” Ornstein groaned, coming to a conclusion.

“Not really…” Ciaran answered, tilting her head. At that, Ornstein arched an eyebrow, which made a tiny smile to appear on her lips. “Well... Maybe just a little bit, but definitely it’s not the main reason!”

“You are unbelievable…” He sighed.

“Is that a yes?”

“You own me one!”

Ciaran’s smile reached her eyes and Ornstein could have guessed she was about to jump from happiness.

“I’m seriously doing this for your own good,” she said when both started their walk to the training field. “I know how you are. If you put this off, then you’ll start feeling worse. I don’t want that for you!”

“Yes, whatever…” Ornstein rolled his eyes.

At his words, Ciaran smiled sympathetically. For her, it didn’t matter if Ornstein didn’t believe her true reasons. He was heart-broken, and she understood that, in that moment, it was hard for him to trust anyone. With time, however, when his wounds were healed, she was sure that Ornstein would thank her. 

In a rush of affection, she wrapped her arm around his waist and squashed him in a half tight hug. Reluctantly, Ornstein ended up throwing his arm around her shoulders, mumbling something in an unintelligible grunt. It made her chuckle. Sometimes, her friend was truly endearing.

The training field was surrounded by stands and a high wall that limited its access. The front was painted with funny waves in gold, silver and red and the university name in proud white big letters. On the left end, there was a small building that probably served as a locker room, and, from the road, the pair of friends could see spotlights that crowned the place. They walked to the entry, where an empty cabin greeted them, and pushed the fence that worked as a door. After going through a small corridor between the stands, the field unfolded in front of their eyes. The practice chants of the cheerleaders and the voice of a man shouting orders along with a whistle enveloped them. Immediately, Ornstein felt he was about to puke out of nerves, but Ciaran didn’t let him turn around and run to his room.

“There he is!” Ciaran happily exclaimed after scanning the football team. Her finger was pointing right at Gwynsen, who was working with a mate on some exercises. “Go and give him back his sweater. I’ll be near you.”

“You know, I have a bad feeling about this…” Ornstein said.

It was remarkable how fast Ornstein recognized more than half the faces he looked at, as well as how fast his face turned pale after laying his eyes on each one of them. Unlike Ciaran, he knew them for completely different reasons. If he were to explain why alcohol was bad, the first reason that would pop in his mind wouldn’t be the obvious one but that it made you sleep with people who had a low empathy level. His stomach ached just from the memories, from his mistakes. If he could erase them from his mind, he would do it without a second thought. Alas, it was impossible. As impossible as trying to avoid them for life.

In a deep corner of his mind, however, he scolded himself. How the hell had he managed to fuck almost the entirety of the football team?! Once again, Smough’s voice calling him a slut was heard loud and clear, as if he was standing right at his side.

“Don’t worry,” Ciaran answered in a soft tone of voice. “I’m not going to leave your side.”

“Or, we can-”

A whistle interrupted him. The long strident sound cut through the air before the trainer’s voice announced it was time for his players to take a short break. Immediately after, Ciaran started to push Ornstein towards the sweaty mass walking towards a bench, in which they had left their bottle of water of multiple colors. Ornstein felt panic taking over his body with each step he took. 

What they were doing was such a bad idea… He didn’t want to be recognized by his hook-ups, and therefore, he stood halfway.

“I can’t do this,” he murmured just for Ciaran to hear him.

“Yes, you can! Do it quickly. Look, they are all busy messing with each other, they won’t even look at you.”

“Ciaran, you know I’m the embodiment of back luck. That won’t happen!”

For a moment, Ornstein looked behind Ciaran, to where the cheerleaders were training on the other side. To prove his words, a pair of girls were already observing them, murmuring to each other. That was the last straw. Ornstein grabbed her arm and started pushing her towards the entry, yet Ciaran’t didn’t make it easy. The two of them were involved in a small argument with rushed whispers and curses under their breath. Ciaran was hard to move and his hands were pushed aside over and over again, while he was told to relax and do what he must.

It all came to a sudden stop when Ciaran, out of nowhere, smiled the very same smile Ornstein didn’t like at all. It puzzled him.

“He is looking at you.”

“Let’s go,” he said between gritted teeth.

Ciaran took a deep breath, and, to Ornstein’s surprise, she finally walked away from him. With the sudden change of events, Ornstein barely heard the steps behind him.

“Ornstein?”

His body froze up. At that moment, it came to his mind that not only he was going to step in a dangerous zone, but also he was going to face the same man that had seen him screaming and crying pathetically. His cheeks blushed with shame. 

Closing his eyes tight, Ornstein let out a long breath. Ciaran had let them some space, and was pretending to look at the cheerleaders. Then, he turned around to face Gwynsen with a forced smile on his lips. The footballer was some feets apart from him, but when he recognized his face, he closed the distance. In contrast to Ornstein, Gwynsen gave him a big goofy smile. Only then, in broad daylight, Ornstein discerned the color of his eyes: a peculiar light amber.

“Ey man, it’s good to see you again. Are you feeling better?”

The discomfort was clear in the hard line of Ornstein’s shoulders.

“I… Ah…”

The redhead, in the corner of his eye, saw one of his hook-ups looking at him. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and the man smirked, before poking another of them with his elbow to drag his attention towards Ornstein. He said something in the other’s ear and they both laughed quietly, never taking their eyes out of the redhead. In the split of a second, Ornstein found himself without words (if he had any at first).

No more time was wasted. Ornstein quickly let his backpack slip from his shoulder, opened it and retrieved the sweater that had brought him more problems.

Gwynsen raised his eyebrows in recognition. “My sweater! I’m so sorry, dude. I completely forgot to tell you my room number.”

“You are fine…” Ornstein mumbled, rubbing one side of his face in a vain attempt to block the stares burning his skin.

“To be honest, I was a bit afraid of never seeing it again,” the footballer said, thumbs caressing the fabric in slow circles and eyes observing it absently. “No harsh feelings, but I thought you’d never want to return to my building.”

“I… actually did it. I planned to leave it with the janitor but-”

“Ah, that old man,” Gwynsen’s chuckle interrupted him. “He is never there, I know. But… you’ve taken the trouble to come here just to give it back to me! You are the coolest, dude!”

The smile Gwynsen was giving Ornstein reached his eyes. It was bright and kind, probably befit someone apparently as popular as him. Yet, Ornstein didn’t pay attention to it. All he could see was the other footballers gathering to mock him in their private conversation.

“It’s no problem, really.”

More giggles were heard, or was Ornstein merely imagining the sound?

“Now, I wonder...” Gwynsen started, leaning closer. One of his hands was placed on the corner of his mouth so it could hide it from the rest of his mates. His eyes were narrowed, not to judge him but to follow some kind of funny performance. “How did you know where to find me?”

“Ah, my friend…” Ornstein answered, pointing back at Ciaran, who cheerfully waved at them. “She knew you- I mean, she knew all the… the team was here. Training here.”

“Oh, I see. That’s what I supposed. You don’t seem like a sports fan at all, are you?” Gwynsen teased, changing his weight from one foot to another.

It was true. Ornstein did not only dislike certain people that played the sport but it was impossible for him to understand the game at all. Whether by its complexity or his indifference towards it, it had never been one of his passions. The little interest he might have had was nipped in the bud during high school. His younger self had always been mocked by other classmates, always left behind, never wanted in any of the teams, or near them. With a bittersweet taste, Ornstein recalled that awful time, and how happy he felt when he could stop attending physical education during his last year. He also recalled how he could endure it after he befriended Smough, the huge guy who always defended him from their stupid classmates and cheared him up after those clashes.

His ex-boyfriend had been such a sweetheart back then…

“No. No, I am not,” Ornstein smiled politely, feeling uncomfortable when the giggles didn’t stop. “Well. I think... I’ll leave you with... I have other things to do…”

His voice came out in a rushed murmur. It made him feel awkward, and Ornstein needed a brief moment to stop the urge to close his eyes and run away.

“Wait. At least, let me buy you a drink or something. For the trouble-”

“Ey, Gwynsen!” A team-mate called him from behind, voice deep and full of mockery. Involuntarily, Ornstein clenched his jaw. “We didn’t know Quelaag didn’t keep you satisfied! Don’t forget to use protection when you fuck that filthy cunt!”

The chuckles turned into gales of laughter, taking delight in the way Ornstein’s face turned red. Behind them, Ciaran gasped so loud that Ornstein could have sworn it had been heard in the entirety of the training field. Her rushed steps sounded muffled, yet before she could ever get the chance to face them, he caught her arm in a tight grip. As much as he tried, his mind was blank. The only thing he was allowed to do was to register the startled face of Gwynsen and Ciaran’s screams.

“Watch your fucking tonge, you asshole!”

“Or what?” One of them retorted with a laugh.

“Or I swear I’m going to beat the shit out of you, do you hear me?!”

The guy replied Ciaran, which made her angrier, but Ornstein didn’t hear his words. After blinking his stupor away, he pulled his friend out of the field before she was successful in twisting her arm and getting free to do what she promised. Ornstein didn’t dare to look back at Gwynsen or say goodbye to him. All he wanted was to get away from that embarrassing situation.

Ciaran didn’t stop cursing them on their way to the exit. In a new rush of bravery, she even looked behind her. To the group of men laughing at the course of events. To Gwynsen apparently scolding them. To the pair of guys sitting down on a bench without participating in the lame act. Their eyes finally met, and Ciaran held up her middle finger before insulting the group aloud. Then, before returning her gaze to the front, she caught a glimpse of the cheerleaders, of their captain, Quelaag, observing the two of them leaving.

Once out of hell, Ornstein let her go. They stopped a couple of steps away from the entry and the redhead let out a sigh that came from the bottom of his lungs.

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

His sorrowful words had an immediate effect on Ciaran. Her anger banished from her face to give way to concern, and a guilt that was hard for Ornstein to discern.

“I’m so sorry… I thought... I should have listened to you.”

“It doesn’t matter now…”

Biting her lower lip, Ciaran decided to close the distance between them. Her hand was tenderly pressed on his lower back. With that, the pair of friends started walking back to the residence.

“Of course it matters,” she replied. “Damn… You shouldn’t have been told that! They aren’t any better, two don’t fuck if one doesn want to!”

“It’s fine, Ciaran, I swear,” Ornstein said, looking at the ground with a distressed expression. “I’m used to it… It’s not the first time.”

Even if he was used and always decided to not engage with the people insulting him, it was hard for Ornstein to handle those kinds of comments in the aftermath. Thankfully, he didn’t turn into a crying mess (as when he first started receiving them back during his first year of university) anymore.

At that point, Ornstein could only dream to be lucky enough to meet someone who didn’t know about the reputation his hookups had bothered to build up for him. Therefore, it made him sad that the only time he seemed to meet someone that wasn’t aware of it, got all ruined. What a perfect first impression he had made… At least, he wouldn’t have to see Gwynsen ever again. Everything was finally over.

“I want to make it up to you,” Ciaran said, eyebrows drawn in concern, “so, please, tell me whatever you need.”

“Ciaran, for the third time, it’s fine. I’m… good.”

His answer didn’t convince her at all. Rubbing her face and feeling awful to a fault, Ciaran tried to come up with a plan to cheer him up.

“How about… we buy some ice-cream and candies, and go watch some movies?”

Her question was met with silence. Ornstein took a moment to gaze down at her, to meet Ciaran’s worried eyes and ponder the option. In the end, he sighed his agreement, which earned him a relieved smile. 

Ciaran spent the whole way to the convenience store and back to his room suggesting movies to watch. Once in the residence, they changed into their pyjamas, and, for the rest of the day, they cuddled, ate goodies, and made fun of main characters from romantic movies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, no, no, of course it's not me crying because I miss going to a cafeteria with my uni friends during free periods (and not so free)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter was growing massive so I had to cut it in half. This first part is quieter than the second one but still I hope you enjoy it ^^

The nearest bus stop to the residence was ten minutes away. In front of it, the Faculty of Law stood proud with its white walls and large windows which were nothing more than a looming shadow under the streetlights. During the day, the bus stop was always crowded by a never ending flow of students, coming and going from their classes and who only wanted to return home. After sunset, though, it was always empty except from the occasional wind that howled and filled the spaces left by them.

The ones living at the residence rarely used that stop. The city was an hour away and once the clock hit three o’clock in the afternoon, less and less buses were seen on the roads, with the schedule turning uneven. That night, however, its rock bench wasn’t empty. Ailnoth and Ornstein were waiting for the first bus that decided to show up. They wanted to go to a party, the same party Ornstein had been invited to by Ciaran, who, unfortunately, had to stay at her room. All because of a sudden exam she needed to study for. 

Ornstein remembered smiling at her with sympathy. The turn of plans had been a shame, but deep down he felt kinda relieved. After a week of bad sleep and lots of tears, Ornstein simply wanted to rest. 

However, on Friday evening, Ailnoth showed up, because Ornstein made him promise to study with him and made up for all the classes they skipped together. Ciaran, who had her door opened, dragged Ailnoth into a conversation while he was waiting for the redhead to open his door. It was during those brief three minutes when she mentioned the party and screwed Ornstein’s plan to spend some time alone and, probably, drink his tears in silence. Knowing Ailnoth, a hopeless lover of procrastination, it didn’t come as a surprise his persistence to leave their responsibilities for one night. Ornstein did his best to put up with his nagging voice, but, after an hour, he couldn’t bear it anymore. As with every other aspect of his life, the redhead ended up giving in, which made both put on hold their study session.

When Ailnoth left to get ready, Ciaran stepped out of her room, leaning her back on the door frame. Immediately, Ornstein gave her a gaze with which he tried to curse her.

“Don’t be mad at me,” she said. “You really need to clear your mind, at least for one night.”

An hour later, they were sitting in the bus stop, Ailnoth talking about the last show he was watching and Ornstein listening interested. Their backs were leant against the crystal behind the bench, in which a bus timetable and several announcements of the university had been hung. Apart from their voices, the singing of a hidden cricket and the buzzing coming from the streetlight above them were the only things that could be heard in the quiet night. Not even the wind, usual around that month, was blowing, and, when their conversation died, both of them were immersed into a comfortable silence. Ornstein pulled out his phone and started checking his social networks, all the while Ailnoth entertained himself observing his surroundings.

The road was empty, with potholes here and there. A light was seen through one of the windows of the Faculty of Law but no person could be seen. A dog barked in the distance. The bench they were sitting on was dotted with scribbles of hearts and stars, some names, even, were written on the surface. Ornstein was really immersed in whatever he was reading, his chin leaning on one hand.

After a while, Ailnoth grew bored of looking and pulled his phone to check the time.

“When is the bus supposed to arrive?,” he asked, looking at the end of the road while letting out a puff of air.

Instead of a simple answer to his question, Ornstein gasped. The sound had been brief and barely audible, but it caught Ailnoth’s attention in such a way that made him forget he had been completely ignored. Leaning over Ornstein’s shoulder, he made out one of Smough’s stories, in which he looked very happy with another guy.

“Man, you shouldn’t check his profile.”

With a sharp intake of breath, Ornstein closed the app and blocked his phone. When he turned to face Ailnoth, he seemed thoughtful. One of his fingers was held up and Ornstein started biting his nail.

“Why is he posting pictures with his friends so… quickly? Like, why does he seem so happy?” Ornstein frowned, although his eyes were covered by a faint shade of sadness. “You know, lately... Well. For the last two years, he hasn't done that with me.”

Ailnoth tilted his head, arching an eyebrow slightly confused.

“What? Post photos with you?”

Ornstein nodded and Ailnoth needed a brief moment to hold back his laugh. It was something stupid to worry about, and not in a million times he would have guessed Ornstein was one to do such things. Yet, under his friend’s gaze, he forced himself to let out a whistle, in hope that it had sounded, at the very least, shocked.

“For two years?” he exclaimed, trying to think about something proper to say. Ornstein gave another nod in return. “I can’t imagine why he has done that, but it really sucks...”

“Do you think he was hiding me?” Ornstein suddenly asked, averting his eyes from his friend with a blush.

For a second, Ailnoth thought his answer through. What he should say to the guy who had been cheated on far too many times to even consider forgiveness and whom he was interested in?

“Do you want me to tell you the truth, even if it’s harsh?”

“Please. I really want to know what you think…”

“Alright,” Ailnoth started with a sigh. “So, from my point of view, your ex-boyfriend was using you. That’s why he hasn’t posted any pictures with you. To others, he doesn’t seem to be in a relationship. That allows him to flirt with other dudes, have fun out of your relationship, and when he is bored of fooling around, he returns to you, the poor one who doesn’t have a clue of his affairs.”

There was a long, heavy silence after Ailnoth’s words. While it lasted, Ornstein fidgeted in his seat, his whole body screaming discomfort. The redhead looked for a brief second at his phone, laying on his lap. There was a need to pick it up and talk with Smough again, to demand him answers, to scream at him, to beg for them to go back together. An unbearable aching was settled inside his heart, yet no tears flooded his eyes. Ornstein couldn’t cry in front of Ailnoth. It would be too much, too embarrassing.

“I’m so stupid.” Ornstein blurted at last, after dragging the silence for too long.

The gratuitous attack to himself took his friend aback and made a frown to appear on his face. Ailnoth’s arm moved itself before the student could ever think about it, and Ornstein’s back was gently wrapped by it, his hand caressing his shoulder slowly.

“Why do you say that?” Ailnoth’s voice came deep and warm.

“Because I always believed him,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. Deep down, Ornstein ignored the curious ticklish he felt from the closeness. “Smough always told me what I wanted to hear but there was no follow through. Never.”

The only thing Ailnoth could do was to squish his shoulder.

“Now that I’m being honest with you… I do think you are a bit stupid.” When Ornstein gazed at him with what was half perplexed, half vulnerable eyes, Ailnoth rushed himself to add: “But that’s normal. I mean… You were- are in love with him, and, sometimes, love makes you blind. I told you the other day.”

“Well, I’m fucking tired of being blind… If only I-” Ornstein mumbled with a sudden rage, before interrupting his words with an exasperated sigh. “The worst part is that I’ve always been honest, I’ve never kept him from anyone. Now, I guess everybody thinks I’m a fool...”

Ornstein rubbed his face, leaving a breathless laugh before hiding his shame inside the palm of his hands. Then, a muffled grunt left his lips. Ailnoth took a long second to think about his words and observe him, the way he rubbed his face, the way he looked so small even when days before the last thing he lacked was self-esteem, and the subtle way he leant on his body. The conclusion Ailnoth came to was that Ornstein was really hopeless and a mess of a person.

“You don’t need to worry about what other people might think,” Ailnoth said softly, leaning a bit more closer to the redhead and tightening his hold. It made Ornstein look through his fingers at him. “What you need now is to focus on yourself first.”

“Huh… That’s the same advice Ciaran said to me,” Ornstein took a deep breath and finally decided to face the world once again. “Nothing new, but it’s hard to do so...”

Ailnoth hummed, tilting his head to search for Ornstein’s eyes, darkened by the warm streetlight and his sadness. “Then, what about this other one: block him, so you won’t hurt yourself for looking at his… pathetic happy show.”

Straightening his back, Ornstein blinked dumbfounded at his friend. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Ailnoth asked, using a hand to push back his black locks from his face.

“What if… What if he wants to talk with me again?”

The last thing Ornstein expected as an answer was the loud snort Ailnoth gave him and the following shake of head. The redhead felt his cheeks blushing once again and averted his eyes. For a moment, he thought about pushing him, but before getting the chance, Ailnoth spoke again.

“Do you really believe that? Ornstein, come on, he must be having fun with his new guy… What was his name? Ledo? You are better than that. You shouldn’t be holding on a tiny hope that is unlikely to become real.”

The need to push Ailnoth grew bigger. Yet it wasn’t because of his harshness or the mockery tone he used, but because he was so right that it made Ornstein’s chest burn with a deep sadness that hunched his back. Deep down, even, he envied the ease with which his friend could see the reality of that whole mess.

After letting out a breath from the bottom of his lungs, Ornstein nodded (though the gesture was more for him than Ailnoth) and picked his phone. “Alright.”

With the ghost of a smile playing on his lips, Ailnoth observed how his classmate unlocked his phone and went through social media after social media, blocking his ex-boyfriend’s accounts. In the end, only his phone number remained and Ornstein looked unsure at the screen, before raising his gaze to Ailnoth in search of reassurance.

“Should I?” The redhead asked. “I mean, what if I need to... or…?”

“Dude, don’t make me repeat myself.”

The redhead bit his lips, a frown appearing on his face. His eyes were back on the screen. It wasn’t so easy to make a decision. His thumb, unsure, still lingered over the block button. Ailnoth observed the slight swinging it made with each one of Ornstein’s breathes. One told him to do it, the next one told him not to do it.

“I mean,” Ailnoth sighed, without understanding what was the point in overthinking such a decision, “it’s not… permanent. You can alway unblock him. Someday. When you are finally over him.”

“I don’t think that would happen...” Ornstein mumbled between gritted teeth.

Ailnoth lifted an inquired eyebrow, but Ornstein shrugged off the silent question with a shook of his head. Then, after letting a long sigh, the redhead pressed the block button, and turned his phone upside-down. Ailnoth gave him a big smile, without being able to contain his happiness, and patted Ornstein on the back affectionately.

“Welcome to your new life without toxic dudes!” The taller student exclaimed. “You’ll see that you'll feel better soon. Give yourself time.”

It came as a surprise to Ailnoth that Ornstein leaned his head on his shoulder with a long grunt. His stomach jumped, and, for a long second, the black-haired student didn’t know what to do with his arm.

“I already regret it...” Ornstein grumbled, the corners of his mouth slightly twisted downwards. “And I’m sick of everything. Why can’t we skip right to when everything's fine again?”

“I wish I could do that for you…” Ailnoth said, feeling a ticklish when the words left his mouth and Ornstein raised his head to look at him. “But I’m afraid I cannot. The only thing I can offer you is to… go to a party, I guess. At least you’ll have fun.”

“I guess…” Ornstein sighed, gloomy.

His head returned to the comfortable place on his friend’s shoulder at the same time Ailnoth let out a sigh. He wasn’t used to that sad version of Ornstein, but even if he didn’t like to see his friend with a long face, he wasn’t actually good at cheering people. His only good quality was his pair of ears, but, at that moment, Ornstein didn’t seem to be in need of a good listener. The only card left was to help Ornstein forget his ex-boyfriend during the party. With a bit of luck even, the only person Ornstein would need that night, would be him.

At the end, Ailnoth opted to murmur against his hair: “Do you want a hug?”

Ornstein accepted with a quick nod, meeting his eyes with a distressful look before hiding his face on the curve of his neck. It was a good start, a good omen. Ailnoth squished him between his arms, making the redhead groan softly. In spite of that, neither of them broke apart for a long while. Not that Ailnoth minded it, not even when Ornstein started to snuggle his face against his skin, just ever so slightly. A shiver ran down Ailnoth’s spine. For a moment, the student wondered if the redhead was doing it on purpose or if it was common for him.

Little did he know his acts were merely innocent, that Ornstein only felt lost. He felt lost despite the fact he knew Ailnoth and Ciaran were probably right; despite the fact he knew that Smough had cheated on him; despite the fact he knew he deserved better. Kicking Smough out of his life sounded unbelievable, and so, a simple task such as blocking his ex-boyfriend felt like a bucket of cold water. His mind was in chaos, and there was no way for him to sort it out. The hug only served as a brief place of comfort, a place where his wounds disappeared for as long as it lasted and where he didn’t feel as alone as he had been feeling since _that_ night. Nonetheless, Ornstein knew that once the hug was broken, those gentle feelings would end, as every other good thing in his life.

What would Ornstein do without Smough?

Maybe Ciaran really knew what was better for him: that night, the party seemed to be his only solution for his problems. He needed to forget them. It was a shame she wasn’t there with him…

A flash of light caught Ailnoth’s eye, making the taller student turn his gaze to the end of the road. The bus was approaching them with the soft rumble of its engine. A sigh was followed by a couple of words to let Ornstein know about it. After breaking the hug, the redhead barely looked at him, but he wore such a sad expression that it made an idea to pop up in Ailnoth’s head. His hand was led to Ornstein’s neck, touching it in what could be described as a shy brush of skins. Although, its meaning, for one of them, was nothing but timid; careful if any, definitely carrying a purpose. Ailnoth moved quickly, planting a long kiss on Ornstein’s cheek, strangely close to his mouth. The sudden gesture, of course, prompted a dumbfounded blink and a hand being raised halfway, doubting whether to touch the kissed place or not. It had been a tricky move, yet Ailnoth earnestly hoped it would be worthwhile.

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t resist,” the older student rushed to explain. His warm tone of voice accompanied by an equally warm smile helped to soothe the redhead’s nervousness. “You seem like you are in need of a little bit of… affection.”

“It’s… It’s fine,” Ornstein murmured, averting his eyes and lifting his eyebrows ever so slightly.

Truth was that his heart was pounding fast with guilt, and with something else that was hard to identify. However, Ornstein didn’t get the chance to analyze every one of his feelings as the bus finally stopped in front of them. 

The doors were opened with a soft thud. Ailnoth rose up first, and, after a quick shake of head, Ornstein followed him. They got inside and paid the bus driver before walking to the back of the empty vehicle to take a seat (Ailnoth let Ornstein go ahead, so he could take the seat near the window, as he liked best). The engine rumble was a bit louder from the back and the bulbs were casting over them a cold light which made it a bit hard to look out of the window without facing first their reflections. As always, Ailnoth was the first one to grow tired of the silence between them, only being interrupted by the engine sound, and, therefore, he started rambling about a game they both loved. With that, they were immersed in a long chat that shortened their trip. When they reached their bus stop, Ornstein was even a bit surprised that it had felt like only ten minutes had passed.

Once outside, Ailnoth was the one who led them. After picking up his phone, he checked the address Ciaran had sent them and started to give directions aloud, although it was more to reassure himself than for his friend to listen. Ornstein limited himself to walk besides him without paying too much attention to his words. Instead, he was observing his surroundings: the wide roads without cars, the dim orange light casted by streetlights, which barely covered the full pathway and left darker areas between them, the houses with their cute gardens... The neighbourhood looked quiet, peaceful.

Walking that street with someone at his side, with a soft breeze and the quietness of the night, brought back some memories Ornstein was, unfortunately, fond of. It were memories of Smough, of quiet walks during summer nights, of promises made by their younger selves to move out to a similar neighbourhood, to have a life together. Unconsciously, Ornstein clenched his fists, feeling a wave of shame for believing such life was possible with him, for being so naive. After starting university, everything changed. Their plans, their mindsets, their needs…

Why did Smough have to change like that?

A sudden sound brought him back to reality. It took Ornstein a couple of seconds to identify that it was coming from his phone. Quickly, he took the device out of his jeans pocket, only to wrinkle his nose when he read the caller name: his mother. Ornstein’s stomach twisted with nervousness, a bad feeling taking over his body. She only called on Saturdays, as they’d accorded since his first year at university. Therefore, her call only meant one thing: Smough had been running his mouth with their families, as he thought he would do (but not so soon).

“Aren’t you going to pick it up?” Ailnoth asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

Knowing that he couldn’t face his mother at that moment, Ornstein thought it was time to follow Ciaran’s advice. Even if it meant to have an upset stomach for the rest of the weekend until they could talk. Ailnoth was given a dull look, no words came from Ornstein while he hung out the call and placed his phone back in his pocket. The reaction, the dark-haired student had to admit, had been a bit weird, yet he thought it was better to shrug it off. If Ornstein had decided not to tell him, then it meant that whoever called wasn’t of his business or important.

The pair of friends kept walking, following the directions the map on the phone displayed until they reached the address.

“There it is!” Ailnoth suddenly exclaimed, with a hint of relief in his voice.

His words made Ornstein, deep in thoughts again, to lift his eyes from the floor. In front of them, there was a two-storey white house with brown tiles and a green garden surrounded by a beautiful brown fence. Nothing could be seen from the windows as the curtains were closed, but the main door was opened, letting out party music. Couples and small groups of friends came and went through it. With another look, Ornstein noticed another small group which was sitting on the grass, chatting and laughing with drinks on their hands. 

It was for a brief moment, yet, out of tiredness and guilt, Ornstein felt he shouldn’t be there but in another place where he wasn’t supposed to have fun. When Ailnoth smiled back at him with a big excited smile, the taller student noticed the subtle change in him. The smile fell off and was replaced by an inquiring arched eyebrow.

“You were thinking about your ex, weren’t you?” He blatantly asked, venturing to tenderly caress his shoulder.

As an answer, Ornstein simply nodded but didn’t dare to look at his friend’s face.

Before speaking again, Ailnoth sighed. “I know it’s hard… to forget him. Especially so soon. But this night might be your chance to try doing so and have some fun. You deserve it.”

“I don’t think so…” Ornstein murmured.

They stopped on the sidewalk in front of the party house. From there, the music was louder. It was a good thing the houses were well separated. At the redhead’s words, Ailnoth glanced at it, before observing his silent friend for a couple of seconds, pondering his next words.

“Either way, if you don’t feel like going in there, you don’t have to force yourself. We can… do another thing tonight.”

“No, I…” Ornstein shook his head, took a deep breath and, finally, raised his gaze to Ailnoth. “I just remembered something, but now I’m fine. Don’t worry. We should go to the party.”

Ornstein managed to force a smile, but it didn’t convince the other student, who, after the sight, let out a hum. Before Ailnoth could open his mouth to make sure Ornstein wasn’t pushing himself, the redhead grabbed his friend by his arm and started to pull him towards the fence.

“Listen, you were right, so don’t worry anymore,” Ornstein sighed, once they crossed the road. “I want to follow your advice, have some fun and drinks.”

Ailnoth flashed him an excited smile, his stomach twisting with anticipation, before patting Ornstein on the back. 

“That’s the spirit! Nothing that a bit of alcohol can’t fix, right?” 

Ornstein shrugged with a noise that could be interpreted as an agreement. However, deep down, he thought alcohol wouldn’t fix anything (still, he hoped so), but served as a good partner to drown his sorrows for a little while. When the student turned around to open the fence, though, Ailnoth stopped him once more. The smile, with its intensity decreased, was warm and tender. It took Ornstein slightly aback.

“Orn…” Ailnoth started, moving his hand from the arm to the back of the redhead’s neck, “even if you want to go now, just remember we can leave if you change your mind, ok?”

They looked eyes for a mere second. Yet, somehow, the concern and care with which Ailnoth had been treating him that night (and for the last few days) stirred something inside him. Ornstein’s eyes observed his face: the short black locks framing it, the straight nose with its tip slightly upwards, the thin lips and the two-days beard. Ornstein felt a ticklish that made him smile and give a nod as an answer.

After that, the two of them went through the fence and the main door, Ailnoth at head and Ornstein following him right behind. The inside of the house was much more crowded than what it appeared to be from the outside, still the house remained small. There was a main corridor which connected the living room, the stairs leading to the second floor and, from what appeared to be from the entry and over the multiple heads, the dining room. The stairs were on their right, and the archway to the living room were on their left. Without exchanging words with Ornstein, Ailnoth decided to make his way towards the dining room at the end of the corridor. It didn’t give Ornstein another choice but to follow him, yet, on their way, the redhead peaked at the room where the blasting music came, and noticed the furniture had been set aside to make space for an improvised dancing area.

The small dining room, which was accessible by another archway, was slightly emptier than the previous part of the house. From there, they could go to the backyard through a glass door, or to the kitchen through another archway. After noticing the last place, Ailnoth exclaimed in excitement and pulled Ornstein towards it. Strange enough, the kitchen was the quietest place of the house. Inside, there was only a small group of friends happily chatting together and a couple of girls making out in a corner.

Ailnoth walked right to the counter full of bottles of alcohol as if he knew the place by heart. With mild interest, Ornstein leaned his arms on the surface next to him, watching his classmate read every label on bottles of different shapes and colors. Unlike Ailnoth, with just a look, Ornstein knew it was all cheap alcohol, not worth minding the taste. Still, he remained quiet. 

When Ailnoth was finally satisfied with his investigation of the local supply, he flashed his friend a smile.

“So, what do you want to drink?”

“Whatever’s fine.” The redhead just shrugged.

“Come on, help me a little here,” Ailnoth said, picking up two red cups. “I don’t want to make a drink you won’t like.”

“Seriously, if it goes up… I’m fine with it.”

A sigh came from the taller student.

“Right… How could I forget? You also loved to drink strong shit...” Ailnoth gave the redhead a sideway look, all the while he opened a bottle of gin and poured a short jet in his own cup.

“You know, I don’t feel like having the same conversation again,” Ornstein answered, giving him a funny little smile while his eyes followed the white liquid. “You like to drink fancy mixtures. I don’t. Agree to disagree!”

Ailnoth sighed again, but, this time, far too dramatic for the kind of conversation they were having.

“I should be surprised, but then, what could have I expected from someone like you?”

Ornstein snorted, rolling his eyes and thinking of playfully pushing his arm. At the last second, though, he decided against it. Instead, he extended his arm, picked a soda and ripped his cup from Ailnoth’s grasp. He filled just the bottom of it with the orange soda. Then, under his classmate’s astonished eyes, Ornstein filled the rest of his cup with vodka and took a small sip from it.

“How?,” was all Ailnoth could say over the loud music when his friend didn’t even wrinkled his face at the drink. For sure, he knew that poor mixture had to taste awful.

“It’s not that bad!” 

“Yeah… I’m sure you’ve burned your tongue drinking so much vodka by now,” he grumbled, pouring the content of another drink into his cup. “I’m sure that’s why you have such a bad taste…”

“Come on,” Ornstein chuckled. “Just get it over with so we can go somewhere else!”

At his words, Ailnoth rolled his eyes, yet, he did what he was told to do. It took him some time to complete his drink though. After a while of contemplating two different bottles and still not deciding which one to use, Ornstein couldn’t find interesting what his friend was doing anymore. He turned around, feeling a bit bored and wishing, for the second time that night, that Ciaran was there with him. Not like Ailnoth wasn’t a bad company, but it felt different.

His eyes glanced around the kitchen. The group of friends had already left, but the two girls were still making out and whispering things to each other on the corner. Somehow, it made Ornstein feel a bit jealous. 

Not long after, a new pair of guys came through the door. One of them was telling a joke, or maybe a funny story, as his friend was laughing loudly. The two of them walked to the counter, too caught up in their own conversation to notice there wasn’t really much space for them. However, before any of them could ask for permission, Ornstein moved aside, as Ailnoth was still trying to decide and didn’t see them. Neither of them bothered to look at him or Ailnoth. For Ornstein, it was fine. He just took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his social media, switching from listening to the stranger’s funny stories and the music.

“Alright, I’m done!” Ailnoth exclaimed, finally closing the last bottle he had used.

“Thank goodness!” Ornstein shook his head, exasperated, and placed his phone back in his pocket before grabbing his cup from the counter top. “You are so slow… And it’s only a drink! This is the last time I’m waiting for you!”

There was a tiny smile on his face which gave off that Ornstein didn’t mean his words. For that reason, Ailnoth wanted to tease him. Taking a long sip from his cup, he hummed as loud as he could near Ornstein’s ear.

“Delicious! Unlike the trash you love to swallow.”

“You are such an idiot…” Ornstein giggled, playfully pushing him.

Even if the redhead hadn’t used a lot of force, the kitchen was still small. The push made Ailnoth took a step back and collide with one of the guys who couldn’t stop laughing from his friend’s story. Ornstein and Ailnoth didn’t waste a second to apologize, and the pair of strangers turned to them to make light of the situation.

Everything turned fine, except for one thing. Once the guy who talked the most laid his eyes on Ornstein, his lips slipped into a smirk and his head was tilted with seemingly amusement. The gesture felt off, and it didn’t fail to set a bad feeling in Ornstein’s stomach. It didn’t take long for the redhead to discover the reason behind that weird smile though. When everyone went back to their business, the whispers and nudgings started between the two strangers. It was clear what they were talking about, and Ornstein averted his eyes from them, feeling uncomfortable.

With his mood ruined again and trying to ignore the peeks he was given, Ornstein stormed out of the kitchen. Ailnoth was taken aback by the suddenness of his reaction. However, after peeking at the two guys at his side, who were openly talking about Ornstein and the rumours around him, the dark-haired man finally understood what had happened. Letting out a sigh and rubbing his face, Ailnoth grabbed the bottle of vodka his friend seemed to like, before going after him.

It wasn’t hard to find Ornstein. The redhead was in the backyard, sitting against a wall, as far away from the people who were chatting at the terrace table or fooling around at the tiny pool. Ailnoth walked towards him with calm steps, noticing the gloomy way with which Ornstein fidgeted with his red cup and his eyes were fixed on the ground. Once by his side, Ailnoth took a seat besides him, trying not to think of how weirdly cute his friend looked.

“I’m the talk of the town...” Ornstein took a long sip from his cup.

Sighing, Ailnoth put a hand on Ornstein’s shoulder and squeezed it tightly.

“Those two were some random idiots. You shouldn’t pay attention to them.”

“It's easier to say when you don’t get recognized by people you don’t know anything about, but are aware of your private life.”

It was the first time Ornstein acknowledged that matter in front of someone who wasn’t Ciaran, and, truth be told, Ailnoth wasn’t expecting such a direct confession. It left him without words, astonished, yet he tried to come up with an answer.

“I know it-”

“No. You’ll never know,” Ornstein spat. It made Ailnoth blink, dumbfounded. “No one has ever talked about your life as they do with mine. I’m like… the campus whore. I knew they thought that. Because of the way they looked at me...”

“Ornstein…” Ailnoth started, brow furrowed while feeling uncomfortable. “I’m… I’m really sorry, man. I don't know what to tell you… Guess you are right. Still, you can’t control what others say about you.”

Apart from that feeling of discomfort, there was another feeling bugging Ailnoth, a feeling of remorse. It was small, but it was still there, at the back of his mind. It made him take his hand off his friend’s shoulder. Ornstein’s words had really clicked something inside him, yet, he was the best in ignoring those nuisances and so, he tried to do so. One part of him truly believed there was no point in paying any attention to those types of feelings.

The redhead sighed before drinking from his cup to soothe his nerves. After looking around the backyard, Ailnoth also brought his own cup to his lips, which drink, for sure, had a smoother taste. 

“I know...” Ornstein murmured after a long moment of silence. “It’s just… Argh. I’m sorry for bringing that up. It’s a party, I shouldn’t be thinking about that...”

“There’s no need to apologize. It’s just… I’m not really good at talking about these things. But if you want to vent, I’m all ears. I promise.”

Ornstein forced a smile. “Maybe some other day. For tonight, let’s stick to your plan.”

“Which is?”

“Getting drunk to forget everything.”

After his words, Ornstein drank a good shot of his vodka as if to reassure himself. At the sight, Ailnoth pulled the corners of his lips in some kind of sympathetic smile, deep down, feeling relieved for putting an end to their awkward conversation.

“Well, I’m glad you said that, because…”

Ailnoth didn’t finish his phrase. Instead, he lifted the bottle of vodka, which Ornstein hadn’t noticed until that moment, with his right hand. The face of surprise the redhead made was priceless.

“You shouldn’t have brought that! It’s not yours!”

“And who would notice? Maybe we had brought it with us...” Ailnoth chuckled softly. “Besides, you deserve this way more than those two assholes...”

There was a brief moment of silence before Ornstein took the bottle with his free hand, contemplating it. Just the thought of those strangers made him shiver and feel annoyed, yet, he did his best to pull the corners of his lips in what was a half smile. Ailnoth had had a nice detail, that was a matter of fact giving that they had different tastes. In the end, Ornstein nodded, again, more for himself than for expressing something to his friend.

“You are right,” Ornstein pulled the corners of his lips to form a half smile. “And, you know what? Now that we had this, I think I’m going to teach you how to drink at a party!”

Ailnoth arched an eyebrow, half confused for the quickness with which Ornstein’s mood changed, and half amused for the sudden tease. 

“I think I should be the one teaching you!”

His eyes followed Ornstein’s hand, placing the bottle in the little gap between them.

“No. You are the one who is too preppy to drink,” Ornstein said, and shoved his cup on Ailnoth’s hand. “Now, take a sip, but small.”

With just a look at the orange liquid, Ailnoth knew he would regret giving in. Yet, he did what he was told to do, maybe, because that feeling of remorse was still bugging him ever so slightly. Once the strong taste filled his mouth and the alcohol burned his throat, he bursted into a coughing fit and quickly returned the cup to his owner.

“Fuck, man!,” he gasped. “I think this will be a hard pass.” Another cough. “Vodka is too much for me. All yours.”

Ornstein snorted, but didn’t push his classmate further. Probably, it was for the better.

Soon, another conversation (not related to problems) began between the two of them. They stayed there for a while, chatting, drinking and watching strangers either jumping into the pool, singing whatever song was let through the door or making jokes to one another. After a while, when the alcohol started hitting, their mood lit up and their conversation turned more light-hearted. Then, Ornstein felt a rush of energy which made him stand up and grab one of Ailnoth’s arms to pull him up.

“Let’s go dancing!” Ornstein exclaimed.

The red cups were now empty and long forgotten on the floor, but the bottle of vodka had already been opened. In that moment, it was firmly held by Ornstein’s hand.

“Here?” Ailnoth blinked, getting up. His question earned him a chuckle from the other man.

“Of course not! Inside!”

With that said, Ornstein pushed Ailnoth through the backyard door. The music was even louder than when they arrived. It filled every corner of the house. However, it didn’t manage to mute the chants coming from the kitchen.

“Drink! Drink! Drink!”

They both peeked inside the place on their way to the living room, but it was so full of people that they couldn’t make out exactly what was happening in there. Still, the cheers that reached their ears from behind their backs after a short while made a smile get his way through Ornstein’s lips.

Oh, how different everything seemed when he was drunk! There was no Smough, no problems, no rumours... In that moment, the music, his need to dance and the touch of Ailnoth’s hand holding his own were the only things occupying his mind, the only things that mattered.

For a second, he wished to stay in that moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend asked me if my take of Dragonslayer Armour had the same hair as Sasuke or Levi and I haven't recovered since...

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed! ^^


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